Page 121 of As a Last Resort
“Wow, what a pep talk,” Ivy scoffed.“Really, I’m surprised they don’t give you more people to manage.”
Robby got up and made his way to the door.“Glenn should be landing soon.See you two in the morning.”As he passed by, he squeezed my shoulder.“For real, Leigh, this is good.”
It was good, but it still didn’t feel like a done deal.I had been ready to go toe-to-toe with Robby on the monstrosity of a development they had their mind set on.I’d go down fighting it, but not without a whole lotta flames.But turns out Robby was never a fan of theWater Whizz Familydisaster anyway.He wasn’t bold enough to jump ship and publicly declare his allegiance, but it was nice knowing he thought my ideas were good.And that they made sense financially and for the good of the development.
Once Robby left, Ivy fixed her gaze on me from across the table.“Spill it.”
“Spill what?”
She straightened the last few piles of paper on the conference table and flicked a crumpled wrapper across the room, sinking it neatly into the trash.“We’ve done everything we can.There’s no work left to distract you.So, let’s have it.”
I’d spent the entire day trying not to think about Austin, but he showed up in everything we did.Every picture we sketched, every idea I pitched to the two of them.She wasn’t wrong—there was no avoiding it anymore.
“There’s nothing to be done.”I exhaled, the weight of it all finallypressing down on my chest.“He lives there.I live here.It’s not going to work.End of story.”
Ivy arched an eyebrow.“I feel like you’re leaving out a few details.”
“He also happens to be my childhood crush.And my ex–best friend’s older brother.”
“The Austin fellow?”She leaned in, curious.I gave a small nod.“Is it serious enough to want to continue it?”
I’d imagined us a thousand different ways, but nothing made sense.“Yes.No.I don’t know.Fish out of waterwould take on a whole new meaning with him in the city.”
“And you going back to the island is out of the question, right?”
“I’ve spent my whole life running from that place.To voluntarily go back would be a special kind of hell.”
“Tell me what’s so bad about your hometown.”Her eyes were earnest, genuinely curious as to why I couldn’t ever see myself there again.
I hesitated, then admitted, “My mother, for one.”
“Who’s in rehab.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been down this path before.”
“I thought the whole rehab thing was new for her.”
“Technically, it is.But it’s always been the same pattern.She promises to get better, stays clean for a few days—weeks if I’m lucky—then falls right back into it.Drinking, pills, or something else.It always seems to be a different kind of worse to deal with.”
“And you think it’s all on you to take care of her if you go back.”
“Itisall on me.If I go back, I won’t have anywhere to hide.For the last few years I’ve been able to stay just far enough away to keep the guilt at arm’s length.”
Hope was dangerous.There was a chance Mom might change, but the odds said otherwise.I’d been let down too many times,thinking things were different only to get a call that she needed to be picked up somewhere.It’s the same vicious cycle over and over again.When I was in the city, I heard about it after the fact.If I were on the island, I’d live her addiction in real time.
No guy was worth facing my demons over and over again every single day.
Ivy folded her arms.“Is there anything else holding you back from wanting to be there?”
My eyes drifted to the empty coffee cups, the crumpled Post-its, the scattered storyboards and sketches of ice cream parlors and miniature golf courses.I was running on too little sleep and too many suppressed emotions.And somehow, Austin managed to sneak into every corner of it.
“I can’t move back for a guy, Ivy.It goes against every bone in my body.”
Her lips curled into a knowing smile.“Even if every bone in your body is in love with him?”
“Ivy.”
“What?It doesn’t take a genius to see it written all over your face.What I can’t figure out is why you’re so scared.”
