Page 123 of As a Last Resort
“Yes, I’m sorry to alarm you, Ms.Leigh.She’s doing great.We’re really encouraged by her progress.As part of our program, we incorporate family therapy early in recovery, especially when a patient’s addiction is tied to grief or the loss of a loved one.I’m calling to see if you’d be willing to come in?”
My knees gave out, and I sank into the nearest chair as the tension leaked from my body.I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath until it escaped in a long exhale.She was okay.
A wave of goose bumps crawled over my skin.Was I ready to see her?What if she looked different?Sounded different?What if this new version of her was just a mirage, and seeing her would only confirm what I feared most?
Or worse, what if she looked the same?It hadn’t worked.Nothing would ever work.And it would only be a matter of time before everything started to unravel again.
“Would you be available tomorrow or Wednesday?”
“I work this week,” I answered.“Every week, actually.I’m not sure, I’m back in New York.Can I get back to you?”
What if when I saw her in person, it broke the illusion of the sobriety this woman on the other line said she had?I’d come and say,See I told you, it wasn’t going to work.
“Yes, of course.But we think a session with you would be really beneficial—not because she’s struggling, but because she’s healing.I’ll email you my contact information and just let me know what works for you.”
“Right, okay, yeah, I’ll get back to you for sure.Thanks.”I hung up and stared at the floor.I took a deep breath and counted the light gray stripes on the white rug under my feet.They wanted me to visit mom.To come back to Florida.My mind was screaming at me—the promotion, Glenn, the board meeting, Florida, my mom, Lexi’s wedding.
Austin.
I cradled my forehead with my hands and shut my eyes.
Walking the city at night alone wasn’t exactly the safest option, but I felt like I was going to suffocate if I stayed in that apartment a second longer.I needed some fresh air.
The city looked different in the dark.Shadows grew longer and alcoves looked deeper.Noises from drains always made me uneasy in the daytime, but they sounded even more ominous in the dark.I walked by businesses closed up for the night.Neon lights flickered in the windows of bars still open, the sounds of chatting patrons floating out from inside.
I walked by Italian Marco’s wooden flower stand, all shuttered up for the night.I opened my purse, took out a hundred and scribbled a note on an old receipt.For last time, I wrote and slid it through the wooden crack on the closed-up display.
“Hate to break it to you, but Italian Marco is married,” a voice from behind me said.I turned around and Jack’s blue eyes stared right at me, full of surprise.
“Samantha?Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize it was you.”
“Jack, hi.”Just pile it on, universe.
“I thought some random person was leaving love notes for the local flower guy.”
“Oh no, I was short on change a few weeks ago and he covered for me.Was just paying him back.”I knew my ears had turned red.I was never good at lying.
“So, about the whole—” he started.
“Yeah, no, we’re good,” I interrupted.
“Yeah, but that wasn’t cool.I shouldn’t have just—”
“No, really, it’s fine.All water under the bridge.”
“Oh.Okay.”
Normally I would rush to fill the awkward silence but I justdidn’t have it in me.So I just stared at him.I never noticed it before but his eyebrows were really well shaped.I wondered if he waxed them.
I was just exhausted.And tired.And ready to get back home, although the wordhomefelt off.
“Well, since we’re cool and all, I mean, would you want to go grab a drink or something right now?”
I was sure I hadn’t heard him right.“With you?”
He stared at me with a very confused look.“Yes, with me.”
A laugh burst from my mouth.Becausethiswas what I needed—Jack coming to my emotional rescue and bailing me out of heartbreak.The man who calls servers over by snapping his fingers.The man who talks with his mouth full and upon further inspection, most definitely gets his eyebrows waxed.The man who takes dates to farmers markets while he’s technically still in a relationship.
