Page 139 of As a Last Resort
“Sam?”Austin’s voice came from behind me and was like warm molasses dripping down my lower back.
Shit.
I closed my eyes.I could at least apologize.That’s what I came here to do, without any sort of promise for anything more.Because clearly that possibility had been set aflame with a bottle of lighter fluid tonight.
I turned around.
“Hey, hi.”I didn’t expect the wave of nausea to hit me so squarely in the forehead.
“Hi.”His smell circled us.The last time we were this close I was turning away from him.
I awkwardly looked around trying to find something to latch on to.“I guess congratulations are in order?”
“Yeah, I guess they are.”He looked at Lexi.
“So, you’re happy then?”I asked, acting like my entire life didn’t feel like it was on the line with this one single question.
“Of course, I’m happy.How could I not be?”The blow felt a little more consuming than I was ready for, but I forced a smile.I had my chance, and I said no.I would be happy for him.
“Hey, Austin,” Lexi started, “tell her what exactly you’re happy ab—”
There was a tapping on the mic and all eyes went toward the small stage area.Rex caught Lexi’s eye and waved her and Austin over to the head table.
“Don’t go anywhere,” Lexi ordered more forcefully than I thought necessary.“We’ll chat after this.”Austin gave me a smallsmile as he walked away.My body swayed to follow him, like it didn’t understand I was meant to stay here.
Rex’s dad took center stage, warning the guests there was no way Rex’s four older sisters would miss a chance to share war stories of their brother as a toddler.So, with a grin, he handed over the mic.Stories of braces and awkward first dates topped memories of Tic Tacs up his nose and the one time he got stuck in the toilet as sister after sister outdid the one before her.After thirty minutes, every guest’s face was streaked with tears.
Then it was Austin’s turn.He was charming, and looked so handsome onstage.The corner of his eyes shined as he talked about Lexi as the little sister who would crawl into his bed when it stormed outside.He talked about how her giggle never ceased to put a smile on his face, regardless of how bad his day was.He talked about her obsession withThe Little Mermaid, Debbie Gibson, and her tiny Polaroid camera she carried everywhere.
He mostly avoided eye contact in my general direction, but as he was winding down, he looked straight at me.“Sometimes people find a way back to each other against the odds.We all know Rex came back to the bar again.And again.And again.”A murmur of chuckles filled the room.
“I’m excited as our family continues to grow.”I swallowed the lump as he looked back at Rex.This was his family now—Mary Kay and Bill, Lexi and Rex, and Rex’s massive tribe of hilarious sisters who looked so fun.And a new baby on the way.This was his little bubble that I would never be a part of.“I couldn’t imagine a better guy to call my brother.Welcome to our family, Rex.”
Everyone applauded and lifted their glasses.He was funny, eloquent, and genuine.Everything he should have been.
After the speeches, a small brass band started to play and peoplewere mingling with fresh drinks.I scanned the crowd for Lexi and made a beeline toward her.There was only so much my heart could take before it bled out in the backyard.
“The speeches were beautiful and I can’t wait for tomorrow, but I’m going to head out for tonight.”I held back the tsunami of emotion that was threatening to overtake my body.
“Wait, did you talk to Austin?”she asked.
“No, but I’m going to find him, tell him, and literally run the other direction so I wanted to say bye now.”
She grabbed my arm and started pulling me through the yard but I stopped her in front of the swan ice sculpture.“Lexi, I will find him.You go back to being the blushing bride, deal?I’m perfectly capable of shredding my heart in front of him on my own.I will find him and tell him I’m moving back.”
“You’re moving back?”she asked.
“You’re moving back?”At the sound of Austin’s voice, I turned around right into his chest.
“Just temporarily.”I turned back to Lexi.“That idea I was texting you about, with Ivy?It worked.Sort of.But yes, in short, I’m moving back.”
“Okay,” Austin drew out.
“Right.Okay so, first I want to apologize.”My throat felt a little tighter as I faced him.God, he was handsome.I didn’t remember talking being such a difficult thing to do.“When Glenn first told me about the huge ferryboat he was planning to buy for the resort, that would basically force you out of business, I should have told you.Glenn changes his mind so many times though and, honestly, it’s such a horrible idea, and I was really hoping to convince him out of it, but still, I should have said something.You’ve been nothing but honest with me about everything and I should have given you that same trust back.And I’m sorry.”
“Okay.”
He was uncomfortable, clocking the number of people pretending not to listen.
