Page 34 of As a Last Resort
I’m pretty sure she was serious.She also had to be seventy years old.
“Are you married?”Ethel asked.
“No, ma’am.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?”
I paused.I typically skirted relationship questions from strangers.Hell, I skirted them from folks I knew too.People were just busybodies with too much time on their hands meddling in my business.But for some reason, these ladies seemed harmless so I gave them the real answer.“The right woman.”
Gail interjected, “Well, at least he’s got a good reason.”
Silver Bob Lady snorted.“Oh please, the right one may or may not come along.Live a little in the meantime, Captain Handsome.”
“You leave him alone, Shirley,” Gail said.“He’s too young for you.And he doesn’t need to be spreading his seed to the whole island either.”
“Age is just a number,” Shirley with the silver bob protested.“I have a young soul.”
“You may, but pretty sure your soil’s as dry as desert dust.”
That one got a chuckle out of me.
“Well, I wouldn’t argue with you there,” Shirley laughed as she grabbed the flask from Ethel and took a swig, draining it.“We’re out!I’m going to fill up from our reserve.”Shirley and Gail walked over to their bags and pulled out a bottle of Wild Turkey.
I turned to Ethel.“Where are you ladies visiting from?”
“New Hampshire.Ever been?”Ethel asked.
“No, ma’am.Have pretty much stayed here in Florida my whole life.”
“We’re taking a very much needed girls’ trip.We should have done this in our twenties, our forties, hell our sixties, but we always found excuses not to.”
“This one’s single for the first time in a decade,” Shirley walked over, pointing to Gail with her now full flask of bourbon.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I responded, assuming her husband passed away.
“Oh, please,” Gail replied.“It’s not like he’s dead or anything.He just moved to Kansas to become a farmer.Developed a weird thing about goats.I was fixing to get rid of that one for years anyway.”
Ethel leaned over to me and lowered her voice.“Pay her no mind.That was her fifth husband.And he always had a thing about goats, she just ignored it.Nothing worse than being in a relationship that’s not right, convincing yourself it’s better than being alone.”She looked back out at the horizon.“You know, this is the first time I’m looking at a body of water I can’t see the other side of.Makes you feel small, doesn’t it?”
I nodded as she turned her eyes on me.
“If you’ve got other things on that bucket list besides driving this boat,” she continued, “don’t wait until you’re over seventy like me to start checking them off.This was worth seeing decades ago.”
Yeah, I had a bucket list.
When we were kids, Patrick, Tom, and I talked about building houses next to each other.Then we decided we’d just live in the same house—but make it a big one.Three stories tall.I’d captain our fishing charter, Patrick would be first mate and entertain the guests, and Tom would run marketing.He could sell ice to an Alaskan.We’d take over the island, three brothers separated at birth.
My mind still drifts back to that sometimes.Life as it was supposed to be.The three amigos, instead of two.And a life with Vanessa.If I’d seen the signs earlier—the subtle looks, the lingering stares.If I didn’t care so much about being around the damn water.If Vanessa didn’t hate Florida.If I had told her I’d movebefore everything fell apart.If Tom had a shred of decency and said no instead of yes.
Sometimes life tips the bucket list over and dumps it all on your head, leaving you standing there soaked in all the things that didn’t go as planned.My bucket list had the usual—white picket fence, two kids, a Labrador, and a happy wife.What it didn’t have was a best friend—the guy who taught me how to play checkers and who had a toothbrush at my house—slipping into my fiancée’s heart.And bed.
My bucket list didn’t include losing two of my best friends in one shot.
Gail thrust her camera into my chest.“You know how to use this, Captain?It’s not one of those fancy schmancy phone cameras.It has a button.You gotta push down.”
She shuffled the ladies together by the edge of the railing.“Now, make sure you get a good view of the sunset behind us.”
I nodded and smiled.
