Page 43 of As a Last Resort
There was a large fake mountain in the center of the course, with little putting greens throughout.At the top, a large pirate ship sat in the middle of the course, a ripped skull-and-crossbones flag sagging straight down.A life-sized plastic replica of Captain Hook stood at the front of the ship pointing to a huge open-mouthed crocodile below.Although the crocodile was more of a faded avocado green from years of being hammered by the sun.
A small turnstile squeaked as we walked through the entrance and up to the hut.A wooden sign hung above us with a huge bite out of the corner—ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!
“We’re positive we’re doing this?”I asked.
“We aresodoing this,” Lexi replied as she walked through.
Sam looked at me and stepped closer.“Don’t you dare leave my side,” she whispered.“If there’s a sacrifice demanded, she goes first.”
“Deal.”I focused 100 percent on not looking at her cleavage.
Lexi rang the bell on the counter.
Thump.Shuffle,thump.Shuffle,thump.
“What do you think that is?”Sam whispered.I caught a whiff of her strawberry scent again.
“A dead body would be more of ashuffle, shufflethump,” I whispered back.She cracked a smile and a small victory curled in my chest.
The sound grew louder and the wooden door swung open to reveal a very old, frail man decked out in a brand-new shiny polyester pirate costume.The smell of bourbon, cigarettes, and plastic followed him.
“Ahoy, mates!”His voice was scratchy and surprisingly loud, like he was greeting the audience opening night of a Broadway play.I looked behind me just to make sure we hadn’t missed a Greyhound bus of patrons walking in after us.
“Welcome to Pirate’s Booty Putt-Putt.How many of ya will be walkin’ the plank tonight?”
“You’re open for business?”It poured out of my mouth before I could stop it.The pirate narrowed his eyes on me.
Lexi jumped in to try and save me.“Oh, we just weren’t sure if you were open or not.With the parking lot.And the lights.”
“And the general lack of humans,” Sam finished out of his earshot and I chuckled again.She was funny.
“Well, consider yerselves lucky tonight.Ya’ve got the place fer now.Watch out fer the crocodile on hole eight.He’ll snap at yer barnacles if ya get too close.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”Lexi saluted him.
“Sticks and stones are around the hut.If ya finish the course, I’ll have some grog waitin’ fer ya when yer done.”He motioned us through the back door and disappeared.
Sam looked down the hall to make sure he was gone.“I’m not drinking a single thing he’s offering.”
“Sticks and stones?”I asked as we walked through the back of the hut to the course.
Lexi laughed.“Golf clubs and balls.C’mon, Austin, get with the lingo.”
“What exactly are my barnacles?”
“Now that, I can’t help you with.”
“I don’t think you want to know.”Sam led the way as we headed toward the first hole, stepping over a small stream of water trickling its way in and out of the pathway.
“You guys never came here in middle or high school?”I asked.
Sam lined up her teal ball on the green.“Absolutely not.”
“I did once.But I don’t remember it looking quite this… charming.”
“I came here on a date once.”They both whipped their heads toward me.
“Eleventh commandment.”Lexi narrowed her eyes at me.“Thou shalt not say theVword out loud.”
