Page 44 of The Lost Lord
On the morning their boat came around Margate, Miriam’s step faltered at the sight of Richard’s coattails fluttering in the breeze. He froze in place. Her heart hammered as they stared one another down like a wolf and deer spying each other in a forest. Miriam held no illusions. She was her husband’s prey.
The emotions she read in him even at a distance of ten paces were as confused and sad as her own. Their gazes glancing past one another as though to cross them might immolate them both. Given the way he’d manipulated her, Miriam was disinclined to be overly solicitous of his. She raised her chin in the haughtiest way she could.
“Excuse me, Miss Walsh. I did not intend to intrude upon your time above deck. I have something to return to you.” Richard sketched a bow.
“You needn’t leave. It is a public space.” Words she hadn’t meant to say spilled from her lips in a rush. Mrs. Kent tugged her elbow, one thin eyebrow arched high. Miriam resisted her nurse’s unsubtle hint to move on.
“We have been blessed with a run of excellent weather,” Richard responded warily. “I shouldn’t wish you to deprive you of it.”
“It’s so wonderful to know you won’t deprive me of fresh air. At least I shall have enough breath to scream as you deprive me of my money,husband.” Miriam remembered her anger and glared.
He winced as though her words landed with a physical blow. Richard gazed out over the churning ocean, his jaw tight. Why did he have to be handsome? The devil could at least do her the favor of making him physically unappealing.
“Did you never wonder why I didn’t come to your bed, Miri?” he asked softly.
Miriam swallowed.
“Why I insisted you manage our funds, as well as the monies invested in the shipment expansion? I could easily have left you destitute. But I didn’t. I tried…” He broke off. Haughty pride crept into his voice as Richard pinned her with a hard glare. “I warned you that I was a bad man, Miri. You were a fool to believe I was anything but a liar. Yet I have left you a way out. As long as I don’t touch you, we can have the marriage annulled upon our return to New York. I will repay your father. I will make this right.”
He reached for her hand. Miriam tried to pull away as the contact seared through her. Her husband tipped her palm upward and placed a hard object in her grasp. Miriam’s fingers closed around it as she pulled back.
Richard bowed again and stalked away.
Her key. Miriam inhaled sharply.
Miriam allowed her nurse to lead her onward. Richard stalked to the port door to the lower decks and descended, leaving her and Mrs. Kent to partake of the fresh air and sunshine at their leisure. Miriam’s heart shriveled a little, watching him go. It wasn’t fair of the man to treat her decently now, not when he’d lied so outrageously in courting her. Miriam paced the deck for hours with her nurse at her elbow, taking in fresh air that cleared her lungs and mind and let rumination take hold of her thoughts.
“What do you intend to do upon arriving in London?” her nurse asked quietly.
“I suppose we ought to find a hotel and book passage on the first ship back to New York.” Miriam sighed. More weeks spent cooped up on a boat with Mrs. Kent were not what she’d had in mind when she’d desired an adventure.
“Don’t you think we ought to make something of the visit, since we’ve come all this way?” asked Mrs. Kent. Miriam peered at her friend. “And there’s the business to consider. You’re meant to protect Mr. Walsh’s investment. You can hardly leave matters in Richard’s hands.”
Miriam shuddered at the thought. “Agreed. If we were to stay, what would you like to see?” Anything to avoid being with Richard.
“I have always fancied visiting a castle. Every little girl grows up dreaming of marrying a prince and living in a castle, doesn’t she?” Mrs. Kent squeezed her arm, trying to tease her back to good humor.
“I didn’t,” Miriam pointed out. They rounded the deck, neatly avoiding two sailors laboring to coil a rope as thick as her wrist. No, it had been Lizzie who dreamed of grand gowns and grander houses.
“You are more hardheaded than most,” commented Mrs. Kent, truthfully. “Soft hearted, hard-headed. It’s no wonder Lord Northcote took to you so keenly.”
“How can you say that, when he has confessed that he was after my inheritance all along?” Miriam demanded.
“Men can have more than one motivation,” Mrs. Kent replied mildly, scanning the horizon. “As can women. I never had the sense you cared as deeply about Lord Northcote as he did about you. You wanted to get out from your father’s thumb, and I can’t blame you. A young lady must have some memories to look back on fondly in her dotage.”
“A man who cared for me wouldn’t have seduced me under false pretenses,” Miriam responded sharply. Her companion glanced sidelong, but they continued to walk. There was little else to do. She had read all the books she’d brought.
“If I understand the situation correctly, he did not seduce you. It speaks well of his motives.”
“Is that enough to compel my forgiveness?” Miriam asked sharply. Considering how low she felt, the prospect that Richard’s sadness weighed deeper than hers was enough to drive all hope from the world.
“Of course not. I shall personally hand Lord Northcote his own testicles if he dares to whisper in your general direction without your explicit consent. I am only ruminating on the significance of his efforts to maintain your financial and personal independence.” Mrs. Kent winced. “With apologies for my inappropriate reference to the male body, Miss Walsh.”
Miriam waved away her nurse’s transgression and grinned. “Never mind that. If you want to see a castle, or multiple castles, we shall make it happen, Mrs. Kent. Even if we need to hire a fleet of bodyguards to protect us.”
“A fine plan, Miriam.” Mrs. Kent gave her a rare smile back. “If you want to experience the world, you cannot wait for it to come to you.”
The idea of salvaging some part of this misbegotten escapade brought a fleeting smile to Miriam’s lips. She felt them curve upward at the corner, and her cheeks did not crack as she’d thought they might a week ago. The ache in her heart eased fractionally. There was no possible way Richard cared more deeply for her than she did for him. She had wanted him, yes. Miriam had been keen to speak the wordsI love you, yet she had not done so. Not even on their wedding day. Deep down, Miriam had known she couldn’t quite trust Richard Northcote, yet she had married him anyway. What did that say about her?
