Page 46 of The Lost Lord
“I wish I’d never met you at all,” Miriam whispered. A thick coil of rope landed at her feet and forced her backward two steps. Closer to him. A seaman in dire need of a bath cast them a glare. Richard held the man’s gaze until he muscled past them.
“I should find Mrs. Kent and a buggy to the nearest hotel,” she said when he had passed them by.
“Miriam,” Richard whispered. “Don’t turn tail and run now. I told you exactly what I was from the first night we danced together. For all my faults—and they are numerous—I have never outright lied to you. Failed to tell you things you should have known, yes. All I wanted was to get you away from Lizzie and her schemes. Please, come and stay with my brother and sister-in-law. I can guarantee that you will be more comfortable there than you would be in any hotel. It will give me peace of mind to know that you are safe.”
Seconds ticked by. Gulls mocked his plea from the sky above.
Miriam swallowed. The muscles in her slender pale throat worked. “What else?”
“Allow me to court you again. I won’t press you to formalize our marriage. You must ask for that with the full knowledge of who I am and what I can give you. In the meantime, I will show you that everything we feel for one another has been true all along. Don’t let Lizzie poison what we have.” Richard had never wanted anything so badly as he wanted Miriam’s forgiveness. Not an earldom. Not a title. Somehow, she had become the only thing that mattered. If he could not earn her, he truly did not deserve to live. There would be no passage back to America.
Fine. It wasn’t his home, anyway.
“You mean, when I prove myself foolish enough to trust your honeyed words again,” Miriam sniffed. Tears threatened. His hand rose to push them away. Miriam flinched. Richard dropped his hand as if it had been burned. The passengers of the ship, impatient with their extended conversation, jostled past them. Richard and Miriam stood apart on the crowded deck, poised on the last remaining edge between their past and their future. When the din began to ebb, Miriam spoke.
“Richard, whatever the truth of your relationship with Lizzie, I no longer care. We didn’t even make land before I found out that the only thing you valued about me was my father’s bank account. I do not want you to court me. I will stay long enough to see theThetiscome in and us to sell our wares. Then, I shall return to New York with Mrs. Kent.” Miriam raised her chin to keep it from trembling.
Richard’s jaw tightened. She would never forgive him this humiliation. He bowed stiffly. “Whatever assistance you require I shall provide. My brother’s home remains open to you and your companion. I shall not burden you with my presence any more than necessary.”
He turned on his heel and disappeared into the throng.
* * *
“Shall we go?”asked Mrs. Kent quietly. She had, of course, witnessed the entire scene, though she had tactfully remained at a distance. Miriam felt her cheeks flare. It was so embarrassing to have one’s private moments play out before one’s nurse. Still, there was a comfort to the fact that she was mostly amongst strangers. There was no one to care about one arrogant lord and the stupid woman who couldn’t quite stop longing for him. Even now, Miriam would have welcomed his touch.
Miriam gazed out at the dark city and swallowed. Where to even begin?
“Yes, of course.” Miriam gathered her wits and descended the gangplank holding fast to Mrs. Kent’s arm. At the bottom they met Lizzie, who was pointing to a heavy trunk and attempting to get a larger lad to help her lift it, without success. An incongruously large and shining carriage stood at the roadside, surrounded by beggar children. A footman held them at bay. Another footman opened the door as she approached. Miriam was startled to see her many trunks loaded onto the top of the coach.
“My lady.” The footman bowed.
Mrs. Kent glanced up at her sidelong. “Unless you have a better plan, I suppose we ought to at least meet Mr. Northcote’s family. We don’t need to stay if they’re half as terrible as he is.”
“I thought you liked him?” Miriam asked acerbically.
“Not exactly. I believe he likes you.” Mrs. Kent sighed. “Do you have a better plan?”
“I don’t.” Despite their depressing situation, Miriam could not help but feel the tiniest degree of satisfaction as she placed her fingertips lightly in the footman’s hand and stepped carefully into the elegant coach. Mrs. Kent quickly settled herself on the leather squabs beside her.
If she stayed, she could have this. She might be Lady Northcote, or these peculiar Englishmen may have another name in store for her.If you want to experience the world, you cannot wait for it to come to you.As though seizing opportunity had worked out well for her to this point.
The carriage door slammed open and shut. Richard clambered in and took the opposite seat.
“You’re coming with us?” Miriam gasped.
“It’s my brother’s house, after all. And as far as anyone knows, you are still my bride. If you choose to tell them differently, that is your decision.” Richard cocked his head at an angle, challenging Miriam to respond. She had made him angry.
Good.
Miriam felt as though a butterfly had been set loose in her stomach, its wings scratching and tickling her insides. She had meant what she had said on the boat, and again when they’d made landfall. She would never marry a man who had only courted her for her fortune. The fact that he had done so to support his lover and his illegitimate child was simply disgusting. Unforgivable. If only she could force herself to stop feeling this nervous, wistful attraction.
Already, her sadness had melted into anger with her old friend. Lizzie had used him just as thoroughly as she had used Miriam. Richard had so many more options than she had ever dreamed of. Yet he, too, had experienced loss. Lizzie’s peculiar gift was to find people’s weakest spots and exploit them ruthlessly.
“What is this we’re passing, out the left side?” Mrs. Kent asked, interrupting the awkward silence.
“That is the Regent’s Canal Dock. It was constructed only a few years ago but has fared miserably.”
“Is that where theThetisis due to dock?” asked Miriam. After all, they were still business partners.
