Page 52 of Cora
He closed the distance between them, teetering on the edge between hope that she would understand why he’d done what he did, and fear that she wouldn’t forgive him even then. That frantic evening, he’d reached for the one thing he could think of that was easily to hand. Music. And in doing so, he’d ruined it for her so completely that she had abandoned it. That aspect had been absolutely accidental.
“This other man knew that while her father was influential, the fact that she had been born out of wedlock limited the ways he could protect his daughter. Even a duke couldn’t force Society to accept her. He could only hope to bribe a path into their good graces, and that her charm and wit would secure her a permanent position amongst theton.”
He brought his hand to her cheek. Her skin was warm, her eyes wide and liquid, the dark centers huge. When he spoke again his voice was rough in his own ears.
“Her vulnerability wasn’t her fault.”
Her thick lashes fluttered and when she opened them again, they were as clear as sea glass. Tears glistened, but her voice was steady. “Go on.”
“On the night of her greatest triumph I overheard this man talking about how he planned to lure her—you—into the garden. She would be willing, he claimed, if he lied and promised marriage. If she wasn’t willing, he would force her. She would never risk telling anyone. Her place in Society was too precarious. But whispers would follow her. People would know. It would be a painful and slow demise. Perhaps she might save herself through a hasty marriage to fortune-hunter. But she was prideful. I couldn’t imagine her doing that. And since I could not offer for her on the spot, I did the only other thing I could. I ruined her for any other man.”
She sucked in a harsh breath.
“Why not offer for me? I would have said yes.”
He was silent.
“Your mother.”
Gideon bent to shoot. From his hunched position, he growled, “Don’t let my father off the hook so easily. Or me. They had a match in mind for me. Courting you publicly would have embarrassed them. Besides, my father was ill. I couldn’t risk killing my own father just because I desired a woman. I could have been courageous. He might have survived the shock. But the bank would have taken a hit to its reputation of being steady, solid, secure. Iwasthe bank. I still am.”
She absorbed his graceless explanation better than any woman should.
“You, Gideon, are not a bank. You are a man.” Cora gave him no chance to respond. She smacked her ball too hard. “What happened to this scion of Society who wanted to rape me in a garden?”
“He is still unmarried and shows no sign of desiring to settle down.”
“And what became of the lady Martha wanted you to marry?”
The way she smacked that ball and missed the pocket entirely was definitely envy. Gideon’s heart soared. He liked his wife a little envious. A little bit possessive. Cora was so easygoing in every other respect.
“She eventually grew tired of waiting for me to offer for her and married elsewhere.”
“Thenwhat stopped you from pursuing me?”
The fact that you justly despised me.“By then, there was a broken nose and a history of fisticuffs with your brothers. I couldn’t get near you.”
“Not through them, no.” She slanted him a skeptical glance. “You were twenty-seven when you ruined my Season, Gideon. Old enough to decide for yourself.”
There was the crux of the matter. All these years he had told himself that he had acted out of kindness, in a roundabout fashion. Sometimes he even believed it.
But his wife saw right through him. She saw the ugliness of his actions for what they were: self-serving and cowardly.
She had married him anyway. Granted, he had nearly destroyed her family to manipulate her into doing it.
“I still had obligations, Cora.” He took her shoulders. “You are right. I should have put you first. I should have raised you up on a pedestal?—”
She cut him off with a stern, “Gideon, I do not want to be on a pedestal of any kind. I am not a statue.”
“No. You aren’t. You are a woman. Warm. Loving. I see the way the world asks you to stop loving the people you care most about, and the way it demands you care about people whom you find detestable. I cannot change that. But I can tell you that my mother’s devotion to Wentworth’s is a reflection of her devotion to her family, and she is very threatened by anyone who would make an equal claim to either one. Especially me.”
A watery grin broke through. He cupped her jaw and stroked her lower lip with the pad of his thumb.
“I couldn’t claim you then, but I have never wanted anything more than to see you shine.”
Tears glistened. Water on emeralds.
“It nearly killed me to play such a cruel trick on you. I only did it because I promised myself that one day, I would marry you and make things right. You might not believe me, Cora, but it’s true. Every word.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Gentle. Felt her slight tremble as she swallowed her tears. “You have never been invisible to me.”
