Page 37 of Secrets of a Duke's Heart
“I didn’t think you were due back until tomorrow,” she blurted out. “Thank you for coming to find me.”
“This isn’t the first time a visitor has gotten lost in that blasted maze. I ought to have it ripped out.” He shook his head like a dog, spraying droplets everywhere. She laughed and backed away.
“I wouldn’t have intruded upon your privacy if I had known you’d be home.”
“Clarissa. You are never intruding.”
Heat rushed into her cheeks. “I was so cold and dismissive when we parted. I cannot imagine you felt any desire to see me again.”
“Oh, but I did. Very much. In fact, I have thought of nothing else.” He took a single step closer to her, then stopped. “I think of you every minute of every hour of every day. As hard as I have tried to forget what an utter ass I was to you in Cavalier Cove, I find that only constant activity brings any degree of solace. If I can distract myself with work, I can briefly escape being haunted by my many failings. But as soon as I stop moving, it all comes rushing back.”
“You weren’t an ass,” she said in a rush of breath without flinching at his crude language. “Not to me.”
“I lied to you.”
“To protect Harriet.”
He met her gaze with eyes full of wary hope. The yearning she read there made her heart ache.
“I understand now, Jude, why you are reluctant to get close to people. You lost so much of your family. Tragedy after tragedy. I can see how it would be easier to hold everyone at bay. Besides, you couldn’t tell anyone who you really were without exposing Harriet’s true identity.”
He shook his head. “That’s not quite right. You’re right about the source of it, however, protecting Harriet was only part of it. I loathe admitting to anyone that I am a duke. One day, I was an ordinary second son with chums at school. The next, I was called home and told I was a duke now, responsible for the welfare of what remained of my family. I lost friends over it.
“Thus, whenever I am presented with an opportunity to live as if I am not a peer of the realm, I take it. I don’t like to be treated differently because of what I am. I was afraid to lose the easy rapport we developed so quickly. By the time things had progressed between us, I knew I had to tell you, but I messed that up badly.”
“I could have reacted better,” she said remorsefully.
“I spent weeks hoping you would fall pregnant. I cannot describe the state I was in after receiving your letter.”
“Oh, Jude.” She rushed forward. He caught her in a tight embrace. “I was devastated, too. I hoped there would be a reason for you to want me as your wife. When you asked to see me in London, I knew it would be too painful to watch you court other ladies. I thought it was best to make a clean break.”
“How could you possibly think I would have courted anyone but you?”
His strong arms around her were a shield from the raging world. Sheets of rain poured down from the roof of the pavilion. Thunder and lightning dueled overhead, shaking the ground beneath her feet. There was nowhere she would rather be than here, pressed hard against his front, her heart beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.
“I don’t know,” she confessed. “No one has ever wanted me enough to fight for me, Jude. It was impossible for me to imagine that a duke, of all people, would be the one.”
They both chuckled, an airless sound of sheer relief. Boldly, she twined her arms around his neck.
“That damned title gets in the way far too often,” he grumbled, then bent his head to kiss her softly. A question. One she answered by tilting her face upward for another, and another. More followed in frantic succession.
“Would you allow me to help carry the burden?” she asked in between kisses.
“I would make you my duchess a hundred times over, Clarissa.”
He fisted her skirts and shoved them high on her thighs. Cold air rushed up her bare legs. Her back hit a wooden beam supporting the roof. Water sprayed the back of her neck, the chill exhilarating. A sharp contrast to the heat of his body at her front. She threaded her fingers through his hair to anchor him to her lips. His rampant cock nudged her stomach.
Any lingering misgivings about becoming his duchess melted away. She could face any challenge for the prospect of having him like this, every single day. This love was a ferocious thing, clawing at her, insatiable for his touch. Nothing else mattered.
“I would give you so many heirs,” she panted as he shrugged out of his jacket and waistcoat. “Starting now.”
“There is still the issue of permission. I have sent an inquiry but have not yet heard back.”
“You asked about me even though I turned you down?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t giving up. I was biding my time.”
“Was this entire visit a setup?” she demanded, tossing aside her soaked spencer. It landed with a wet plop next to his outerwear.
