Page 14 of Something Like Forever
“One of your homes,”Allison said. “It’s possible to have more than one. Ben and I arefrom The Woodlands, and even though we haven’t lived there sinceour high school days, I still consider it home. Don’tyou?”
“Yes,” Ben said.“Absolutely.”
“Tim, do you still feellike Kansas is home?”
No, not at all, but he nodded along anyway.“Yup.”
“So there you go. Eventhough we all live in Austin and consider it home, we’re stillcapable of returning to a different one.”
“I’m sorry for askingthis,” Jason said. “I don’t mean it to sound harsh, but did TheWoodlands feel less like home after your father died?”
“Yes,” Allison saidinstantly. “It sure did. Less so when my mother died. Once theywere both gone, I didn’t feel as anchored. You’ve been through thattoo, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” Jason said. “Ialso know what it’s like to be taken from my home and not beallowed to return.”
“We would never do that toyou,” Ben said. “Ever! You’ll always be welcome here.”
“Then why are you pushingme away?”
Ben’s mouth moved, too shocked to speak, sohe looked to Allison for guidance.
“Tell him how you feel,”she suggested.
“I love you,” Ben said toJason.
“I know,” Jason responded.“I love you too, but I don’t get—”
“I’m trying to helpyou!”
“We both are,” Timadded.
Allison held up her hand. “Ben, what yousaid is good, but try telling him how this situation in particularmakes you feel.”
Ben leaned back in hischair, eyes unfocused as he seemed to search for the right words.“It feels like I’m holding you back,” he said. “When you first cameinto our lives, the goal was to help you get back on your feet. Nowyou are, but you’re scared to use them.”
Allison looked at him.“Tim?”
“I just want you to behappy.”
“Iamhappy,” Jason stressed.
Tim shook his head. “Not asmuch as you could be. When you’re with William, it’s like you’re ondrugs. Wait,areyou on drugs?”
Jason laughed. “I get whyyou guys worry, but I’ve got it figured out. I’ve thought aboutthis. It’s not like I made the decision while drunk and emotionalone night.”
“Then explain yourreasoning to us so we can understand,” Allison said.
Jason nodded. “William andI have been apart before. Four years.” He clenched his jaw and hadto collect himself. “Nothing changed between us. We still felt thesame way, so we’ll be fine.”
“He could meet someone,”Ben said. “I never thought that anyone could get to me like Timdid, but then I met Jace. You know I love Tim! With all of myheart, so imagine my surprise when it turned out I could love morethan one person. I agree that William won’t stop loving you, butwhat if he meets someone else he loves too? Someone who can bethere physically and not just emotionally.”
“Then I’ll wait,” Jasonsaid, looking to Tim. “Like you did.”
“Trust me,” he said. “Thatgets old. You think four years is bad? Try ten! And no matter hownice the new guy is, it’s still absolute torture.”
“Was it?” Ben asked,looking concerned.
Allison raised her hand.“Let’s stay focused. You lovebirds can rub beaks later. So itsounds to me, Jason, that you feel like William is a surething.”
