Page 37 of Something Like Forever
“I convinced him,” Bensaid. “Don’t blame William for this because—”
“I don’t!” Jason shouted.He looked surprised by his own outburst, but the anger had beenunleashed, and there was no reining it in. “Do you have any ideahow bad I miss him? Do you even have a clue?”
“Then go see him!” Benpleaded. “It’s been a year! You have a plane ticket you can use anytime you want. It’s a vacation, Jason. A visit! No one is forcingyou to move up there. All we want is—”
“Get out.”
Ben remained seated. “Ijust want you to try. You’re nursing wounds that you never letheal. Well what about him? Maybe he’s up there feeling just as lostwithout you. When do you start thinking about William’s needsinstead of just your own?”
“Get out!” Jason waspointing toward the door, his jaw clenching. “I don’t want to seeyou anymore.”
“Jason. Please.” Bensucked in a shuddering breath. “It was stupid of me to getinvolved. I‘m sorry.”
“So am I,” Jason said,wiping away tears with a hand before using it to point to the dooragain. “I’m sorry I ever listened to you. Leave.”
Ben rose, wanting todefend himself or simply admit again how foolish he had been, butJason was too emotional for them to discuss this rationally. Benwas too. He knew he needed to go. He forced himself to walk to thedoor, when all he really wanted was to hug Jason and try to shieldhim from the hurt, but that wasn’t possible. Not when Ben was theone who had hurt him.
“I love you,” Bentried.
This only seemed to makeit worse. Jason’s face started to crumple before it became a maskof anger. Then he stomped toward him, Ben flinching away, but Jasonwas only going for the door to throw it open. “Either you leave,”he growled, “or I do.”
“Okay,” Ben said. “We’lltalk later. Or you can call Tim. Just make sure you calm downbefore you drive anywhere.”
This was met with steelysilence, so Ben slunk from the apartment, feeling ashamed. He hadbeen trying to make things better, but had only managed to makethem worse.
* * * * *
“Should have learned frommy mistakes,” Tim said.
He stood in the livingroom, hands on his hips. Ben was on the couch, wondering why he hadever thought that Tim being home again would make him feel better.The trip to the buffet sure hadn’t, Ben stress-eating his waythrough plate after plate. He had returned home feeling twice asbad as before. The second Tim walked in the door, Ben had launchedinto every grisly detail, hoping for commiseration or maybe advice.Instead Tim was standing there and shaking his head.
“This is your letter onthe door,” he said.
Ben glowered at him.“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You were trying tomanipulate events—”
“For the greatergood!”
“Hey, that’s exactly whatI was thinking when I had that kid put a letter on Jace’sdoor.”
“Aletter that contained alie. No, this is more like myseventeenth birthday, when I put my foot down about you datingKrista Norman. It worked that time. I cut you off and you camerushing back to me. I thought the same thing would happen withJason and William.”
“They aren’t teenagers inhigh school,” Tim said, all teasing gone from his voice. He sat onthe couch and pulled Ben near. “We should be encouraging them totalk about their problems openly. That’s what we try to do,right?”
“Yes, but they need to bein the same room, face to face.”
“Video calls aren’t goodenough?”
“It’s not the same.” Bengrimaced, his stomach churning. “You’re right though. I messedup.”
“And we’ll make it betteragain. First we need to let Jason cool down. Then I’ll go overthere and talk to him. I get where you’re coming from, but it mightbe easier for him to listen if it’s coming from me.”
“That’s a good plan,” Bensaid. “I just hope that he’ll still trust me.”
“He will.” Tim squeezedhis shoulder. “This is exactly why we adopted him. He’s stuck withus, no matter how stupid we are.”
“I’m the only stupid one,”Ben said. “I don’t remember the last time you messedup.”
