Page 46 of Something Like Forever
“Anyway,” Lily said,sounding exasperated, “I think it’s a nice idea. How serious areyou?”
Ben considered Daisy, whowas adorable and had already made him laugh more times than hecould count. Then he looked to Jason, the love in his heartexploding. There was no comparison. “I think we’ll wait. I’m prettyhappy with the way things are.”
“What about your degree?”Jason asked.
“I was just being silly,”Ben quickly replied.
“Really? Don’t you want toget your master’s or whatever?”
“You want to go back tocollege?” Tim asked.
“No! I was just…” He shookhis head. “I was frustrated with my job that day. That’sall.”
“I get it,” Tim said.“Kind of like a few months ago, when you were moving to Thailand toteach English.”
Ben laughed. “Shut up! I’mallowed to have a midlife crisis. Here, Daisy, put this teddy bearon Tim’s face.”
She took the stuffedanimal from him with great suspicion and hobbled over to add it tothe growing pile of clutter, but sadly, the teddy bear only endedup on his chest.
“Ha!” Tim saidvictoriously. “Nice try!”
“You sounded serious atthe time,” Jason said, not letting the subject drop. “With a littlemore college, you said you could do anything, even open up your ownpractice. Don’t make a face! You’re the one who’s always bossing mearound about my life. I don’t get to do it back?”
“That’s right,” Ben said.“You don’t. Bossing is a privilege of being a parent. It doesn’twork the other way around. Now go brush your teeth and take anap.”
“Awwww!” Jason whined,like he didn’t have a choice. He smiled though, Ben matching hisexpression, even down to the tinge of sorrow. He would miss momentslike these.
They lingered as long asthey could. Any later and they would have to stay another day, butBen had a job to return to. Jason did too, as they had recentlylearned. He was now assistant manager of the coffee shop with theadded duty of arranging more performances, whether for himself orother musicians. The pay wasn’t great, but it was astart.
Grudgingly, they madetheir way outside, loaded Chinchilla into the car, and took turnssaying goodbye. All but Jason and Ben, who waited until the veryend. Understanding that they needed privacy, Tim got into thedriver’s seat. Lily and William returned inside with theirdaughter.
“I don’t want to do this,”Jason said, hanging his head. Then he hurried to add, “I’m staying.Don’t worry. I just don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Then don’t!” Ben said.“We’re coming up here every year for vacation. Tim wanted that tobe a surprise, so brush off those acting skills when he tellsyou.”
Jason opened his eyes andmouth as wide as he could. “Like this?”
“Exactly like that. We’llfly you home anytime you want. Even if it’s just for a weekend. Allyou have to do is ask. Call all you want too. Or don’t, becauseI’ll be calling you anyway. Or we can video conference. Maybe wecould send little packages to each other?” Ben brushed the hairaway from Jason’s forehead, as if it would help it be less messy,when really he just wanted an excuse to touch him. “I hope you knowthat we weren’t serious in there. About adopting. There’s noreplacing you. Give me a million years and a million kids and itwouldn’t make a difference. You’re special and—”
“Ben,” Jason said. “I needyou to stop.”
“Too much? Sorry, Ijust—”
“If you keep going,” Jasoninterrupted, “I’m getting into that car with you. I don’t careabout the consequences.”
“I don’twant that,” Ben said, shaking his head. Then he sighed. “Okay, Ido, but you’re doing the right thing. Just know that you’re inhere—” He tapped on his chest. “—waytoo deep to forget about, or forme to stop loving you. Ever. Do you hear me? I mean it.” Ben wascrying now but he didn’t care. “Never doubt that. Not for onesecond. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Jasonsaid, his face crumping.
Then he was in Ben’s arms,and it didn’t matter that he was a grown man. Sometimes he feltjust like a little boy. Ben wished for nothing more than to shieldhim from the hardships of the world. But he couldn’t. Not anylonger. Ben let his arms drop and took one step back, surprised byjust how difficult this was.
“Take care of each other,”Ben said.
“You too,” Jason said,cheeks streaked with tears. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll be back before youknow it,” Ben said. “I promise.” Then he forced himself to turnaway.
“You all right?” Tim askedonce they had driven to the end of the block. His hand was on Ben’sleg, reassuring and warm.
