Page 74 of Something Like Forever
“Oh. In that case, I’msorry.”
“Forgetabout it. Like you said, you were trying tohelp.”
“My heart was in the rightplace,” Corey said, leaning against him again. “You were my firstcrush.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”Dark eyes bored into his, just as they had two decades ago, exceptthey were softer this time. More emotional. Their faces weredangerously close. “You really can kiss me if youwant.”
Tim waited for a laugh,but neither of them were joking around. Not anymore. Corey movedcloser, bringing his lips near.
Tim slid farther down thegrill, putting distance between them. He nearly fell off in hishaste to stand. “What about Kioshi?”
“He knows,” Corey said,shaking his head in confusion. Then he seemed to understand. “Oh!We’re not… I wouldn’t call it an open relationship, but we’reallowed to sleep around.”
“What?”
“Wedon’t date other people, but sex isn’t a big deal.” Corey stared.“You and Ben don’t have that?”
“No!We’re married!”
“So arewe! Kioshi and me. We’re just not monogamous. Most gay couples Iknow aren’t, so I just assumed… Sorry, I should have asked, but Ithought that you were out of my league anyway and um…” Coreycovered his hands with his face. “I knew this would happen. One wayor another.”
“I’m notout of your league,” Tim said, looking him over. Corey was wearinghis black suit, except the tie had been loosened and the shirt wasuntucked. The style suited him, but so did the old T-shirt andjeans he had worn when clearing out the gallery, or less than that,because Tim had stolen plenty of glances at Corey’s bare torso theother day. What he’d seen was sexy, and no doubt the rest of himwas too, but it was too late for that. Wasn’t it? “I wish I hadkissed you back then.”
“What aboutnow?”
“I don’twant to answer that,” Tim said.
“Why not? Worried thetruth will hurt me?”
“I’m worried it’ll hurtBen.”
Corey hopped off thegrill. “So you do want to kiss me?”
“Yeah,”Tim admitted. He needed to be intimate with someone. He was tiredof feeling lonely and longing for someone he couldn’thave.
Corey took a few stepscloser. “And have you thought of us doing more thanthat?”
Tim swallowed. Then henodded.
Corey flashed a smile.“Then maybe you could talk to Ben, ask permission.”
Or he could keep it asecret. He was far from home, and hungrier than he wanted toacknowledge. Tim had always needed love. He had gotten by on whatlittle attention his parents gave him, and when he’d met Ben, hefinally discovered what it was like to be truly loved. Theintensity of that feeling had haunted them after they went theirseparate ways, Tim getting by on scraps from Travis and Ryan. Andthen there was Eric… Those had been good days, but aside from himand Ben, Tim had always been forced to make do with less than hewanted. And now, after six weeks of fasting, nothing sounded betterthan letting go and basking in the affection of anotherperson.
“Might be worth a shot,”Corey said, looking vulnerable as he approached again. “I’d evensay it’s long overdue.”
“Come here,” Timsaid.
Corey slid into his arms,and Tim kissed him at last… but only on the top of his head. That’sall he would allow himself, aside from clutching himcloser.
“Wereally can’t do this,” Tim said, throat constricting. “I mean it. Ilike you, but I’d rather die than hurt Ben. I wouldn’t put himthrough that. Even just asking would upset him, I know it,especially when we’ve been apart for so long. And yeah, I stilllook at other guys and have all sorts of fantasies, but when I’mwith him, I’m not like this. He gives me everything I need. Withouthim I feel like I’m starving.”
Corey pulled away. “Hemust really be something.”
“He is,”Tim said. “That’s why we’re monogamous. He’s all I need. I don’tthink it’s wrong what you and Kioshi have agreed to. It’sjust…”
“Not foryou,” Corey said, nodding his understanding. Then he sighed.“You’re always going to be the one who got away. I can’t tell youhow often I fantasized about you when I was younger. Or morerecently. You want to know what else you did for me? I saw how mysister treated you and it made me sick to my stomach. I swore Iwould never do the same, and that became a promise I made in everyrelationship. I wouldn’t be like her. I wouldn’t take anyone forgranted or treat them like dirt. Especially if I was ever luckyenough to have a guy like you.”
