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When he reached theveterinarian, Ben explained the situation, including that he neededto get back to work. He felt bad leaving her there. If the worsthappened, he wanted to be present to comfort her, but he was tryinghard not to think in such terms. No matter what was wrong, she wasin the safest hands imaginable.

Once back in theclassroom, he couldn’t concentrate. Ben did his best, singing anysong about animals that he could think of in between drills. Hedefinitely didn’t earn a sticker. His heart just wasn’t in the jobtoday. He even broke his own rule and pulled out his cell phone,needing to tell Tim what had happened.

Chinchilla was coughingand panting this morning. I took her to the vet, just to besafe.

He braced himself, waitingfor Tim to panic, but he should have known better.

It’s the new rawhides webought. They’re too dry. She probably got dog treat shrapnel stuckin her throat.

He even included a cutedog emoji. Tim might not be worried, but Ben was fighting off dreadafter school as he drove back to the veterinarian’s office. When hewas shown to an exam room and Chinchilla was brought out, she wasexcited to see him and seemed at full power again, her little buttwagging in excitement.

“Who’smy baby?” Ben enthused. “We’ve had a busy day, haven’t we?” Hekissed the dog’s wrinkly face, happy that her breathing soundednormal. Then he turned his attention to the vet when she entered,certain he was about to receive good news.

* * * * *

Ben kept walking to thefront door to look outside the windows there, which was dumbbecause he could track Tim using his phone. Ben knew how far awayhe was, but sitting and relaxing was unthinkable at the moment. Hewould rather pace, which he did, back to the living room whereJason and William were snuggled up and watching television. Then hereturned to the front door again. This march continued until hefinally heard an engine approaching. Chinchilla did too, rising andjoining him at the door. She looked perfectly fine, which wouldn’tmake this conversation any easier.

“Let’sgo see your dad,” Ben said to her, waiting until the car was parkedbefore he opened the door.

They walked outsidetogether. Chinchilla’s butt might have wagged for him earlier, buther whole body shook as she made her way over to Tim as fast asthose stubby legs could carry her. Tim dropped to the ground as heoften did, rubbed the scruff around her neck, and allowed his faceto be licked. Then he looked up with smiling eyes. “What’s theverdict? Bad rawhides?”

Ben started easy. “The vetsaid there’s fluid in her lungs.”

“Did youcatch a cold?” Tim said to her in his baby voice.

No choice now but to putit all out there. “She said that this is probably the beginning ofheart failure.”

“What?”Tim said, sounding like he had just heard something silly. “Whydoes she think that?”

“It’s common in bulldogs,and at her age—”

“She’sfine!” Tim said. “Bulldogs can live to be eighteen, and that’s arecord we’re going to break. Aren’t we, my littleprincess?”

Chinchilla licked herchops and fixed Ben with a gaze like she too thought he was beingsilly.

“Most bulldogs don’t makeit past ten.”

“Sheisn’t most bulldogs,” Tim said dismissively. “What did they say weshould do?”

“Makeher comfortable,” Ben said, his throat aching. He had already criedon the way home, even needing to pull over briefly. “We have somepills we can give her too, which might help.”

“There you go,” Tim said,sounding unconcerned. “More vitamins.”

“This is serious,” Benstressed.

“I’ll make sure she takesher pills. Listen, vets aren’t always right. Nathaniel’s dog hadthat stroke, remember? The first vet was all doom and gloom, butwhen he got a second opinion… You’ve seen Zero. He’s like a puppyon crack! And the first guy wanted to put him down!”

“I trust this vet. Don’tyou?”

Tim shrugged. “Sure, butthat doesn’t mean she knows everything.” He rubbed Chinchilla’s fursome more, serious this time as he looked her over. “She seems fineto me.”

“Right now she is,” Benconceded.

“Sowe’ll keep a close eye on her. She’ll take her vitamins, and justlike last time, it won’t be as bad as everyone says. Remember whenshe was supposed to get hip surgery?”

The vet had only mentionedit as an option, but Ben saw no sense in arguing. He could standthere and shout that Chinchilla was going to die, but Tim must knowthat already. He had witnessed death before at Eric’s bedside, andTim had nearly lost his own life once, thanks to a psychoticex-boyfriend. Pet deaths were different though. As they wentinside, Ben thought of Samson, and how painful that loss had been.Partly because it felt like another piece of Jace had died, butalso because pets were similar to children: innocent and in need ofconstant care. The love they returned was special too.Purer.

“Are the boys back yet?”Tim asked. “We could all go out to dinner.”