Page 17 of Something Like Winter
Ben looked unconvinced. Tim would have to give him more. Being popular wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and if Ben only knew what had gone down in Kansas—
Tim could tell him. Doing so would mean summoning up the past. Speaking those words here, even just once, could mean they were repeated again and again until they ruined Tim. But surely Ben understood what it was like to be an outcast.
“How about this?” The smile dropped from Tim’s face. “At my last school my ex-girlfriend went around telling everyone that I raped her, just because I dumped her. I had every girl in the school coming up to me and saying the craziest shit. A few even tried to knee me. It was insane.”
Ben seemed more curious than judgmental. “What happened?”
“What do you mean? Nothing happened. It was her word against mine, but she didn’t take it to the police or anything because she knew the truth. It blew over after a while, but people never treated me the same afterwards. You don’t know how glad I am to have a fresh start.”
Ben sighed. “The idea sounds appealing.”
“Would you still come out? If you moved to the other side of the country where no one knew, would you come out again?”
“Yeah,” Ben answered immediately. “Are you kidding me? What would I do otherwise? Pretend I’m into girls and start sleeping with them?”
Tim felt uncomfortable, like he was being accused of doing just that. Maybe because being with Krista involved so much pretending.
“I’d definitely come out again,” Ben continued. “It’s the only chance I have at meeting another gay guy. It pays to advertise. That’s the theory at least.”
“No luck in the romance department?”
“Not really. Not love at least.”
The cuckoo clock his parents had brought back from Germany sprang to life, the little bird tweeting the hour.
“Jesus, I should get home.” Ben started pulling on his shoes. “Are you going to be all right? There’s drinks and stuff in the fridge and leftover pizza on the counter. Should I bring it in?”
Tim fought down a grin. “Naw, I can manage.”
“I thought I’d come by in the morning to make breakfast and check on you, and then again in the afternoon?”
“Yeah?” Tim meant to tell Ben that he could manage on his own, but instead he said, “You’d do that for me?”
“That and a hell of a lot more.” Ben laughed, like he was joking, but they both knew he wasn’t. “Uh, so see you tomorrow then.”
He practically ran for the door, probably embarrassed by his confession, but Tim didn’t mind. It was quite the compliment. If Tim was a girl… Well, that was just a weird thought. But if things were different, he would be thrilled that someone like Ben was interested in him. At least, more thrilled than he already was.
* * * * *
Ben was the first thing Tim saw every morning, since the painkillers made him sleep deeply. Usually Tim was roused, back aching from sleeping on the leather couch in the den, and Ben would look at him in that funny way—like this was all too good to be true. Then Ben would hurry off and make breakfast. Tim was served pancakes the first day, fried eggs the next. Today was only frozen waffles, so he must have really been in a rush.
“It’s nine thirty,” Tim said when Ben set the plate on the coffee table. “Aren’t you missing school?”
“Well, yeah.” Ben checked his watch. “It’s okay though. Allison, my best friend, has the inside scoop. They only take attendance in second period; otherwise they’d get false positives from the people who are late in the morning. Before or after that, I’m in the clear. Sort of. Teachers will start asking questions eventually, which is why I’m going to most of my classes.”
Tim gave him the smile, the one usually reserved for girls who did something he liked. That always caused them to melt, and to his amusement, it worked on Ben as well. Seeing a guy react like that was somehow more satisfying. Tim had already won the affection of more girls than he had time for, but getting another guy to look so flustered felt like a new achievement.
“At least tomorrow is Saturday. Have any big plans?”
“Well, maybe,” Ben said.
“I see.” Tim put on a pouty face. “You’re leaving me here to fend for myself.”
“Iwasgoing to cook you a real meal. No frozen pizzas or quick breakfasts. But come to think of it, I might be too busy. I can’t waste all my time on straight boys.” Ben winked. “I’m sure you understand.”
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Tim said. Of course he had no intention of doing so, but he loved flirting.
“Like what?” Ben pressed.
