Page 170 of Something Like Winter
“Sure, why not?” Tim grinned. “Andher husband. Hell, we’ll bring all of Austin with us.”
Ben crinkled his nose. “That would sort of defeat the point.”
“Maybe. I’m just having a hard time picturing what life will be like when we go back to Austin. I’m tired of living alone.”
“Oh.” Ben eyed the valley in silence for a moment. “Yeah. That is kind of weird. Jace and I scrounged every penny we could to buy that house. So many things happened there. Good or bad, every memory is special to me.”
“I understand,” Tim said gently. “In a way, I feel the same about where I live. It’s never easy for me to talk about, but I was with Eric in his last moments.”
“You were?”
He nodded. “We were at home together, instead of some horrible hospital—” Tim shook his head. “People talk about a haunted house like it’s a bad thing, but it’s not always. Not when it’s someone you love.”
Ben looked relieved. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“I’m glad. So, the idea of me living with you seems somehow disrespectful to Jace’s memory, but I also can’t expect you to sell your house and move in with me.”
“No,” Ben sighed. “I don’t like either of those options.”
Tim swallowed. “If none of that were an issue, would you want to live with me?”
Ben pretended to mull it over. “Yeah, but not if I’m constantly serving you frozen pizzas and Cokes while you lounge around on the couch.”
“Hey, it worked in high school!”
“Maybe on special occasions, then.” Ben’s eyes searched his. “We could just stay where we are. You’ll come visit me sometimes, or I’ll go to your place. It’ll keep things fresh.”
“I don’t want fresh,” Tim said. “I want to get old and smelly with you. Eventually you’llwantme to keel over first, just because you’re so sick of being around me.”
Ben laughed. “Trust me, that will never happen.”
“How about somewhere new?” Tim said. “Still in Austin, but a place that belongs just to us. We can take it slow, put our houses on the market, and see what happens. If they sell, we’ll both be making a sacrifice, leaving something behind.”
Ben chewed his lip. “That houseisn’tJace. I can take the memories with me. Just like you can with Eric, right?”
“Right.” Tim scooted nearer, wrapping an arm around Ben. “So you’ll start a new life with me?”
Ben stole a kiss. “I already have.”
Epilogue
Twelve seasons. Starting in summer—as they always seemed to— but now they were leaving another one behind and entering autumn. Three years of living together in this little house, surrounded by trees and land and hope. Ben had found the real estate listing. The photos didn’t look like much since the house was hidden away deep on the lot. As it turned out, that’s what made them fall in love with the place.
Ben and Tim still lived in Austin, but on the outskirts. They had land, enough that they rarely heard another car or saw any sign of civilization, apart from the occasional airplane overhead. When they were at home, the world existed only for them, just like it had once in a den at his parents’ house or in Ben’s teenage bedroom. Their little bubble world had come together again after all this time. Austin was still there when they needed it—the gallery, the theater, Allison, and Marcello. But when they were done, they returned home to solitude.
Of course they weren’t completely alone. At the very beginning they had been four. When Chinchilla had first met Samson, the dumb dog had chased right after the cat. Samson stood his ground, waiting patiently until Chinchilla was close enough. Then he swiped—claws extended— hitting Chinchilla directly on the nose. Tim was painfully reminded of the time Jace had decked him. Regardless, that had ended the dispute of who was in charge. Samson reigned supreme for the next two years, eventually becoming fast friends with the dog.
When Samson died, he did so quietly. Curled up at Ben’s feet one night, he simply slipped away. Ben had cried for days, Tim joining him a few times. In a way, Samson was the last piece of Jace lingering behind long enough to make sure Ben was okay. And now he was. Ben would never be alone again, never have to search for someone to love him because Tim did so with all of his being. But losing part of their family still hurt.
“He was always Jace’s cat,” Ben had said afterwards. “Now he will be again.”
They buried Samson in one corner of the yard, planting flowers over his grave. A year later the flowers were still there, pink, white, and yellow. Tim was watering them now, Chinchilla standing solemnly at his side. When he was finished, she raced off across the yard, looking for a new game.
Tim returned to the back of the house to put away the watering can. He passed Ben, who was stretched out in a lawn chair with his eyes closed as he soaked up the sun, a forgotten book on his lap. Tim’s heart pounded. Why was he so scared? After all this time, after years of being together, this should be the easiest thing in the world. He second-guessed himself as he slowly wound up the garden hose and then walked back to where Ben rested. A cloud blew over the sun, shadow chasing across his body.
“You awake?” Tim said so quietly that he thought Ben might not hear.
Ben turned his head, smiling at him with brown eyes like melted chocolate. They made Tim weak, even still. “Yeah. Nearly dozed off.”
