Page 17 of When Ben Loved Tim
“I want her back,”Allison had responded before starting to cry again.
I remember glaring at a pair of boys who had laughed at her tears and telling them to shut up. I can’t count how many times Allison has defended me in the years since. And she’s right. My mom would be more than willing to help take care of Tim. All I need to do is ask. And yet…
“I need this,” I admit turning to my best friend, who is no longer a little girl. “I’m not going to find someone to love. Not while I’m in high school. So as crazy as it sounds, I like the idea of getting to be a part of his life. Even for a week or two. I’ll be able to pretend that we’re something more than we really are. Years from now, when you and me are looking back and talking about old boyfriends, Tim will be my high school sweetheart. Even though he’ll never have known.”
“What if youdofall in love with him?” Allison presses. “And it’s not just pretend?”
“I want that too,” I say with a tight throat. “It would be better than nothing.”
“Oh honey…” Allison places her hand over mine and squeezes. “I do worry. Not because you crippled a hot boy and are basically planning on holding him captive. You’re my kind of crazy. But I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I put on a reassuring smile. “At least I’d be feeling something.” Not that I’m numb inside. I simply haven’t gotten to experience any aspect of that kind of love. Unless a fleeting crush counts. I’ve had plenty of those. Maybe that’s all Tim will turn out to be. But I don’t think so. “And if worse comes to worst…” I say as the car goes over the curb during a tight turn. I look over at Allison affectionately.
“We’ll always be there for each other,” she confirms.
Chapter Five
I take my friend’s advice and don’t leave school until after lunch. The wait is torturous. I’m tempted to break the speed limit on the way to the hospital, but I play by the rules, not wanting my prize to slip from my grasp. I feel a little funny about that. I know Allison was joking when she said I plan on holding him captive, but it is kind of messed up to prevent someone’s parents from finding out their child has been in a serious accident. Especially when you’re the guy who put him in the hospital. I promise myself to spell it all out to Tim, so he can make his own decision. I reallyreallyhope he likes my plan.
I feel less certain when I get to his hospital room and he’s flirting with a nurse. I wait patiently as she finishes her duties. He’s got a shit-eating grin on his face as she leaves, although I’m happy it doesn’t disappear just because she does.
“Benjamin!” Tim says, sounding upbeat. “How’s my car?”
“I’m doing fine, thanks,” I reply sarcastically. “And so is your car,” I add when he starts to look worried. “What about you?”
“They’ve got me all patched up,” he says, rocking his bad leg back and forth, which is covered up to the shin by a massive boot. A series of thick horizontal straps lead down to his foot, where socked toes stick out of the tip.
“What is that?” I ask, moving closer to see.
“The doctor called it a walking boot. I’ll still need crutches for a little while, but pretty soon, I’ll be as good as new.”
I can already see my plans unraveling. “So you can go back to school tomorrow?”
Tim blanches at the idea. “I dunno. The doctor said I’m supposed to take it easy.” His reluctant expression matches my own. “Do you think I have to?”
“Probably not. I had my friend call the school this morning. She um… pretended to be your mom.” His brow furrows, so I force myself to press on, surprised by how much nuttier this sounds than it did this morning. “My friend messed up and said you’d broken your ankle. So I figure they aren’t expecting you back this week. Or maybe even next.”
“No shit?” Tim asks.
I can’t tell if he’s happy or not, and I don’t get to ask, because we’re interrupted. I take a step back during the discharge procedure, paying extra attention when the nurse goes over everything he’ll need to remember, like his medications and how careful he’ll have to be. She helps him get into a wheelchair, which I am soon walking behind while pushing him down the hall. I figure now is the best time to tell him the rest. If he hates the idea, I won’t be able to see his face, and more importantly, he won’t be able to see mine.
“I know you’re worried about your parents finding out,” I say. “My friend can talk to the school if they have any questions. I’ll bring your homework and help you with it. And cook for you. And do anything else you need until your parents come back. By the time they get here, it sounds like you’ll already be walking around. By then it really will be a minor sprain, so I can’t imagine your mom being too upset.”
Tim is quiet as I wheel him into the elevator. He doesn’t speak until the doors close, sealing us in. He looks up, silver eyes seeking mine. “You’d really do all that for me?”
“Yeah!” I say eagerly. “I mean, this whole thing is my fault. I owe you that much.”
“Sure, but you don’t have to,” he says. “I’m not pissed at you or anything. Accidents happen.”
“I want to,” I admit. The elevator dings then, as if emphasizing the point. “Really,” I add when he continues to stare.
Then he smiles, and it just about makes me melt.
“Cool,” he says. “Get me out of here. I can’t wait to see my car!”
I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling too. I’ve been as honest as I can, without baring my soul entirely, and he truly does seem fine with the plan. I’m tempted to ask if he’s high on painkillers, but I figure even if he is, Tim can change his mind later if he wants. But I sure hope he doesn’t.
After a ridiculous debate where he insists he can drive with a massive boot on his foot, I get him loaded into the passenger seat. I try to pay more attention to the road while driving him home, not wanting to give him any reason to doubt that I can take good care of him. I really want this to work. More than anything.
