Page 21 of When Ben Loved Tim
Tim sighs. “When people hear that kind of thing, they assume it’s true. Guilty until proven innocent. Which is seriously fucked up.” He glares. “Go ahead and ask if I actually raped her. I can tell you want to.”
“No need,” I assure him. If I thought Tim was capable of that, I’d get up and walk the hell out. And I know he’s right about the rest, because if Bryce was facing the same allegations, I’d be tempted to tell people that yeah, he probablydiddo it. Mostly because I want to see him fall. But not for something that isn’t true. As much as I hate Bryce, there’s a big difference between being an insensitive jerk and committing a horrific crime. Although plenty of gray area lies between the two. “What happened exactly? Were you drunk or something?”
Tim scoffs. “We dated for most of junior year. We had sex dozens of times and it wasalwaysconsensual. The bedroom is where we got along best, because otherwise… Carla had a mean streak. She was always making fun of me in front of her friends and treating me like crap. I don’t know why. Her home life was kind of messed up, which is something we had in common. But I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with her.”
I wait for him to say more. Like they had sex one final time afterwards, and she regretted it, or anything that could even begin to justify such a serious allegation. “So when did you supposedly…” I trail off, not wanting to say it aloud.
“At a party. I was hanging with my best friend during the whole thing. And after. So thank fucking god I had an alibi. But people hear that and say, ‘Of course his best friend would have his back. I bet he helped!’” Tim’s lips pull back in disgust. “I’d rather die than do that to someone!”
“That’s terrible. How did everything play out?”
“I spent the rest of the school year being called a rapist by people I didn’t even know.That’swhy being popular sucks. It doesn’t take much to go from famous to infamous. My parents got involved. You should have seen my mom’s face. It was the worst. Carla didn’t take it to the police, but she told anyone who would listen.” Tim winces while sinking lower into the tub. “Why am I even talking about this? Leaving it behind was the only good thing about moving here.”
“I’ll never breathe a word to anyone,” I promise him. “Not even my best friend.” Which is saying a lot, because we tell each other everything.
“Thanks,” Tim replies, seeming haunted by the memories.
“So if being popular backfired on you,” I say, “why are you friends with Bryce and the rest of them?”
“Hey, they found me. All I did was flirt with Krista. She introduced me to the others. I was glad to have friends again. It was my first day of school. I didn’t know who anyone was, or their status.”
“But now that you do…” I prompt.
Tim shrugs. “They’re good to me. And from what you said, people turn on you whether you’re popular or not, so it doesn’t really matter.”
“Not so fast,” I say, sitting up straighter. “People hating you for something that isn’t true isnotthe same as them hating who you really are.”
Tim studies me. “Which do you think is worse?”
I blink in surprise. “I’m honestly not sure. I get to feel proud of who I am, at least. But moving to a different town wouldn’t help. Not unless I wanted to live a lie.”
“Ever been tempted?”
“Yes.” I gnaw my bottom lip for a moment. “But I won’t.”
“How come?” He seems genuinely curious.
“Because it’s my only chance of finding love. It pays to advertise.”
“Oh yeah?”
My shoulders slump. “In theory. I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”
“That’s crazy,” Tim says. “Can’t you… I don’t know. Find some other way to advertise?”
“For a casual hookup? No problem. That would be easy. But I want love.”
I wait for him to scoff or snort. Instead he’s looking me over in a way that’s hard to define. Not in the way I’ve been eyeing him from day one. He’s not lusting after me exactly. Instead it’s more like he’s taking it all in. Including some of my surroundings. I don’t know what’s going on, but when he snaps out of it, he appears self-conscious. Especially when glancing at the tub.
“Whoa!” he says, trying to reach the shower curtain. “These bubbles are getting awfully thin.”
I regret not sitting somewhere higher, so I’d have a better view. Considering the raging hormones pent up inside of me, it’s a testament to the conversation we just had that I wasn’t thinking of his body at all. I don’t want to cheapen that by sneaking a peek now. So I keep my head down when standing. I grab the towel and set it on the floor next to the tub before pulling the shower curtain shut.
“Be careful when drying off,” I say.
I don’t jokingly offer to help. I haven’t exactly been subtle. He knows I’m attracted to him, and what I am willing to do. I’m surprised to find that sex isn’t at the forefront of my thoughts. What I really hope, once he’s finished bathing and has dressed, is that Tim will want to spend more time talking together.
Chapter Six
