Page 129 of When Ben Loved Jace
“You mean the same area?” I’m surprised, because it’s an expensive neighborhood.
He shakes his head, the car creeping forward when the cross-traffic light turns yellow. “Eric left me the house. I didn’t tell you that?”
“No!”
“He didn’t have much family. Just a sister that he wasn’t real close to. She wasn’t interested in any of his stuff. Most of the money went to her and a bunch of charities. I got the house and enough to cover the property taxes and upkeep for… Uh… A very long time. Come on, man! Out of the way!”
A minivan is trundling along ahead of us, tailgated by Tim’s car. He finally loses patience and swerves into the oncoming lane to gun past it, but hey, at least he uses his turn signal. I let him concentrate on driving instead of pestering him with further questions. The journey becomes a little less harrowing when we reach the edge of town. Eventually, we reach a driveway that’s full of cars, Tim pulling around them into the yard to get us that much closer to the privacy fence.
He doesn’t turn off the engine after shifting into park, nor does he close the door behind him. Tim simply bolts out of the car. I take the keys out of the ignition before following and, over booming bass inside the house, hear a mournful howling coming from the backyard. At least she’s alive! By the time I get there, Tim is standing next to the pool while hastily ripping off his clothes. Chinchilla is still stuck on the raft, which is dippingdangerously as she tries to reach him, her whines heartbreaking.
“Stay there, baby!” Tim is saying. “Don’t move! Daddy’s got you. We’re going to play our favorite game.”
Once down to his underwear, he dives in, surfacing next to the raft. She scurries toward that corner, which sinks enough for water to slop over her paws. Tim hastily supports the raft from beneath to steady it again.
“You’re okay! Settle down. C’mon girl. Lay down.”
Chinchilla grumbles as she complies.
Tim orients on me. “Look who’s here! Let’s go see!”
He paddles toward where I’m standing until the raft is flush with the concrete edge of the pool. Chinchilla scurries off, her butt wagging as if she remembers me. I squat down to pet her, receiving a few licks to the face, but when Tim pushes himself up and out of the water, I’m completely forgotten. She dances circles around him, making growling noises interspersed with a few more whines, like she’s complaining.
“I know, baby,” Tim says, his voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave you with him again.” He looks up suddenly and stands, eyes filled with fire as he considers the house. Sure he’s lost some definition, and yeah, he’s got a small gut now. But boy, is he still hot! The wet underwear clinging to him certainly doesn’t hurt. And that heaving chest… He looks like an Aztec warrior who just marched through the rain to reach the battlefield. “Daddy is gonna go have averyserious talk with Mama,” he growls.
“Hold up,” I say, rising to catch his arm. “You might want to get dressed first.”
Tim glances down. “Oh. Right.”
He pulls on his T-shirt and shorts before considering Chinchilla. “She’s better off back here for now. Did you close the gate?”
I hurry to do so. Then I have to sprint to the back door, because Tim is done waiting. The house smells weird as we enter. A combination of cigarettes, weed, and something else. A fog hangs over the living room, which has lost its tasteful elegance. I’m hard pressed to say why in the moment. The creepy-looking people lounging around don’t help. Nor does the ear-splitting music. We have to step over a guy who is sprawled out on the floor. He doesn’t seem to notice us. Nor do Ryan and a group of guyswho are writhing manically to the music. The sweet-smelling smoke surrounding them probably has something to do with that. I try not to breathe too deeply. Tim marches over to the sound system and unplugs it. All eyes—those still capable of focusing, at least—orient on him.
“You’re home!” Ryan cries in delight.
“Yeah,” Tim shoots back. “I got your message. What the fuck? She could have drowned!”
“Oh stop,” Ryan says, moving toward him. “I wouldn’t have let—” He stops suddenly, having finally noticed me, his face twisting up before he rounds on Tim. “You have some nerve bringing your whore here! It’s bad enough that you sneak around. You just made a big mistake!” Ryan returns his attention to me, his whole body trembling with rage.
That’s when I realize how hopeless the situation is. Tim will never convince him that we’re not together. I’m the perfect scapegoat for their broken relationship. Ryan is incapable of accepting personal responsibility. All I can do is confirm his worst fears.
“I’m not his whore,” I retort. “That’syou, Ryan. You’re his side action. That’s all you’ve been since the beginning. Do you really think you can compete with me? The guy he’s loved since high school? I’m the main attraction!”
Ryan’s eyes go wide. I’ve not only managed to slide the blade between his ribs, I’ve turned it three-sixty as well. After a pathetic whimper, he recovers from the shock and launches himself at me. “I’ll fucking kill you!”
“No you won’t!” Tim blocks his path. “Don’t you dare! I’ve fucking had it with you! Do you hear me? We’re finished!”
“What?” Ryan squeaks. “Oh whatever. Youneedme!” He steps to the side, so he can point a trembling finger in my direction. “Do you really think he’s going to leave his husband for you? Why hasn’t he already? You’re being played, Tim. I’m the only one who loves you. I’d never leave you likehedid. Twice! I know I’ve been bad, baby, but I wouldn’t hurt you like that. Ever! I’m all you’ve got. Don’t throw it away.”
Tim’s shoulders slump.
I’ve heard enough.
“You’re wrong,” I say, stepping forward to take Tim’s hand. “He’s got me. I’m getting a divorce. Tim already asked me to marry him. Here’s my answer.”
I pull him close, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss Tim like I’ve wanted to since I saw those silver eyes watching me from across a darkened theater. My love for him never went away. I can’t even pretend it was dormant. I feel just as strongly as I always have, and I know it’s the same for him, because he immediately kisses me back. I can feel his relief, his need, his undying affection. I give him just as much in return, forgetting everything and everyone in that moment, because there is only me and him. Ben and Tim.Us.
He finally pulls back, tears filling his eyes, but he’s wearing a great big beautiful smile. God how I missed it!
