Page 134 of When Ben Loved Jace
“Why couldn’t it have been a performance?” Jace interrupts.
“What?”
“You’re an actor, Ben. Why did it have to be real?”
“Because I can’t feel any other way about him,” I admit.
“Great,” Jace says coldly. “Skip the play-by-play. You spent the night at Tim’s house. Did anything else happen?”
“No!” I kneel on the couch and take his hands in mine. “Absolutely not. The kiss was a means to an end. Tim understands that. And now it’s over.”
“So you don’t plan on seeing him again?”
I hesitate. “I’d like to be his friend.”
Jace pulls away and shakes his head in exasperation. “You’re too much sometimes. You know that?”
“I do, but if you put yourself in my shoes. Pretend it was Victor instead of—”
“No! You don’t get to play that card. Not this time, because Iwouldn’thave kissed Victor. Even if he did have some psychotic boyfriend I wanted to chase off. Tim needed to make that happen on his own. You did the work for him!”
“Last night you said you were proud of me!”
“There’s a big difference in giving Tim an easy out with a white lie versus convincing him to leave with a goddamn kiss!”
The point hits hard. I took matters into my own hands and crossed a line. Similar to if Tim thought my relationship with Jacewas unhealthy and did something crazy… like leaving a note on our door to break us up. Jesus! We really are two of a kind.
“I made a mistake,” I admit. “You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.”
Jace’s sigh is heavy with frustration. “You’ve put me in a difficult position. I don’t want to be the kind of person who dictates who you can and can’t see. That’s gross. I also don’t want you to stop seeing Tim for the sole reason of it being what I want. That wouldn’t be much better.” He shakes his head. “I guess this is another chance to prove yourself. I’d like to think, after being together for so many years, that you won’t be lured away again so easily. And that he’s no longer the kind of person who would try.”
“I won’t let anything happen between us,” I reply with a guilty wince. “I swear.”
Jace rolls his eyes. “Why do I love you?”
“I honestly don’t know. It’s a mystery for the ages.”
His forehead creases in thought. “You know what? I think it’s only fair that I be allowed to kiss someone too.”
“You mean me?”
“Outsideof our marriage.”
“Oh. How about Greg? You could make me watch, so I really learn my lesson.”
“He’s my sister’s husband now. And my brother-in-law. So no.”
My shoulders slump.
A mischievous smile plays about Jace’s lips. “I suppose the closest equivalent would be Adrien.”
“What? No!”
“He would love the chance to make Caleb jealous,” Jace says venomously. “And it would help heal the wounds I inflicted by cheating on him. It’s the noble thing to do.”
“Fine.” I flop back on the couch and cross my arms. “You can kiss him.”
Jace laughs, climbing over my body to position himself above me. “Or maybe I’ll make you work it off.”
