Page 87 of When Ben Loved Jace
“Will they be at the graduation ceremony?”
“Yup.”
“Won’t they be surprised to see me again!”
Tim drops his pencil. His face is burning as he bends over to pick it up. When he resumes sketching, I wait patiently for him to look at me again. But he doesn’t. He’s concentrating awfully hard for something that comes so naturally to him.
“Are you worried about how they’ll react?” I prompt.
“I guess you could say that.”
“Have you brought any boyfriends home to them?”
“Just you.”
“Have they met Eric?”
“No.”
I blink. “Really? Don’t they ever come into town to visit?”
“Yeah. I always meet them somewhere.”
“How come?”
Tim groans in exasperation. “Just let it go. Please.”
“Okay.”
He finally glances at me again, and I understand why he’s been avoiding doing so, because I recognize that look. The mixture of shame and denial. I saw it often enough when we were younger.
“Do they know about Eric?”
Tim sighs and gives up any pretense of working. “No. They think I still live at the frat house.”
I shake my head in confusion. “Why?”
“How was I supposed to explain the reason I got kicked out? Or why I’m living with some old rich guy. What did you assume when you found out?”
“But he’s not just some old rich guy,” I counter. “Eric is your friend.”
“Yeah. I know he is.”
“So tell them the truth. You already came out. The hard part is over.”
Tim presses his lips together.
My stomach sinks. “Youdidcome out to them…. Didn’t you?”
“I’m out,” Tim says lamely. “To the people who need to know.”
Now it’s my face that’s burning. I shut the book on my lap and toss it on the table.
“Don’t be mad at me,” he says, sounding vulnerable.
“I’m not,” I reply, mostly because I want it to be true. I’m not sure though. Emotions can be funny that way. They tend to show up first at the party. “I just don’t understandwhyyou wouldn’t tell them.”
“You do,” Tim says. “Even though you don’t like it.”
