Page 102 of Cowboy's Last Stand
And yet, the thought of breaking things off with him—of never letting him touch her again—made her cry harder.Panic twisted through her, making her breath catch as she realized it was too late to prevent another heartbreak.
She’d already fallen in love with him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jason spent afitful night in the upstairs apartment.
He’d been plagued by hot memories of Natalie and chilling dreams of Mike in exhausting intervals.Bloody images flashed back and forth between sensual ones.He also spent a few hours berating himself for bringing up the death gratuity.
He was a self-critical person by nature.He could thank his father for that fun trait, among others.The fact that he hadn’t come clean with Natalie about his connection to Mike was becoming unbearable.His deception couldn’t be justified, but he kept finding excuses for it.He kept going over it in his mind, considering ways to tell her.He’d also considerednottelling her.Because telling her meant losing her.
It was inevitable at this point.
He’d imagined making her fall in love with him by giving her a lot of orgasms.That foolish plan had failed, but he’d enjoyed the attempt.It had been the sexiest, most memorable experience of his life.He wanted to do it over and over again.Unfortunately, she’d started having second thoughts as soon as they were finished.
Her obvious regret had irritated him.Then her eyes had become teary, and he’d snapped.He shouldn’t have mentioned the settlement or pressured her about getting over Mike.He should have just stayed quiet and let her go.Instead, he’d made her angry.
That was no way to win her heart.
After thrashing around most of the night, he drifted off.He woke later than expected and felt more rested than he should have.He dressed in his work clothes and ventured downstairs.Marcus was on his way out as Jason neared the front porch.The boy stopped on the sidewalk and waited for Natalie, his backpack at his feet.
Jason gave Marcus a high-five.“You ready for school?”
Marcus nodded.“Mom always walks me from the library,” he said.“She makes me hold her hand, and she kisses me goodbye.”
Natalie exited the house with a yellow bag balanced on one shoulder.She wore Oxford shoes, a striped sweater, and slim black pants.He liked her smart librarian style.She looked beautiful but distracted.
“Sounds good to me,” Jason said.
“Blake called me a mama’s boy.”
“He’s probably jealous because your mom is prettier than his.”
Marcus studied his mother, who appeared to be searching for her keys.“Sheispretty,” he allowed.
“You’re lucky to have a mom.”
“You don’t have one?”
“No.”
“What happened to her?”
“She died in an accident.”
“Oh.”
Natalie found her keys and tugged Marcus toward the car.“There’s coffee inside,” she said to Jason without meeting his eyes.“Help yourself.”
Her chilly reception wasn’t unexpected, and Jason had some of his own hard feelings about the previous evening.He was busting his ass around here on multiple levels.He was trying to change for the better.He didn’t appreciate her calling him a “barely functional human being.”Barely functional hadn’t gotten her off three times.
Jason stood in the driveway and watched them leave.Marcus waved goodbye, so he waved back.Then he went into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.He paced around the quiet house with agitation, unsure of his next move.Something caught his eye from the corner of the couch.There was a picture frame tangled up in a wool blanket with a pile of crumpled tissues nearby.He picked up the frame and studied the familiar face.This was what she’d done after leaving his bed.Cried for Mike.Jason’s stomach roiled with guilt and jealousy.Jealousy for a dead man.
Tell her.
He wanted to smash the photograph against the wall and howl in frustration, but he didn’t.He put it back where he’d found it and took his coffee to go.Then he distracted himself with physical work.
Backing up the truck to the pile of rubble in the yard, he started tossing items inside with more force than necessary.He grabbed pieces of old wood and twisted metal, heedless of splinters or sharp edges.The exertion didn’t improve his mood any.He felt like a wild animal, heaving debris in a fit of rage.He was glad Natalie couldn’t see him.When he was finished, a cut on his hand was bleeding.Instead of getting a bandage or protective gloves, he wrapped his finger with duct tape and kept going.
