Page 133 of Cowboy's Last Stand
Jason fell silent again.There was no explanation that made it sound innocent.His shady behavior had tainted every action.
“I cherished those letters,” she said, touching the center of her chest.“Now I feel violated, like a stranger crawled into bed with me.I feel like everything I believed about my husband was a lie.”
“It wasn’t,” Jason said.“He was devoted to you.”
“You know what’s worse?”she asked.“You hijacked my grief.I can’t stop crying, but it’s because of you, not because of him.I’m not in love with him anymore, and I hate you for taking that away from me.”
He reached out to take her hand.“I’m sorry.”
She jerked away from his grasp.“Sorry for what?Writing fake letters, screwing me senseless, or lying to my face?”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you,” he said, stricken.“I came to Last Chance to tell you that Mike saved my life.I followed you to the bar with that intention.When I realized you worked there, I changed my plan, and…”
“Decided to become a stalker and seduce me?”
“I wanted to protect you,” he growled.“What would you have done if I’d told you the truth?”
Her lips trembled at the question.“I would have sent you away.”
“Exactly.”
“So the end justifies the means?”
“No,” he said, standing.“But I’d do the same thing all over again.”
“You’d do it again?”
“Yes, I would,” he said with complete conviction.He had to speak the truth, even if it was too late to make a difference.“I love you, Natalie.If the choice is between never having you and having you for a little while, I’d choose having you every time.I would go through any torture, any hardship, for a chance to be with you just once.”
She shook her head in wonder and denial.“I have to go.”
His stomach clenched as if she’d punched him.Although he’d expected the blow, it was still devastating.Like a fool, he’d kept hoping that she shared his feelings.She wasn’t in love with Mike anymore—but she wasn’t in love with him either.
“So that’s it?It’s over?”
She rose to her feet.“It was over last night.Saying you love me doesn’t fix anything.You lied to me, ruined my memories, and became a murder suspect.I’m a single mother.I don’t need this kind of drama in my life.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets because they itched to touch her.“Can I say goodbye to Marcus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Will you give him my letter?”he asked.
“Yes,” she said, her voice breaking.“Damn you.”
Jason wasn’t a man who cried in public, not for any reason.He could thank his father for teaching him how to disconnect from his emotions.They’d stood side by side at his mother’s funeral, dry-eyed and stoic.But the thought of never seeing Marcus again got to him.It cut right through into the center of his heart.
He blinked a few times, clearing his throat.
Her eyes filled with the tears he was holding back.“Don’t make this harder on me.Please.”
Instead of falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness, he respected her request and fell silent.His chest ached with hopelessness as he watched her leave.There was nothing he could do to change her mind.
He loved her and Marcus, and he’d lost them both.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Dear Natalie,
