Page 31 of Cowboy's Last Stand
She could tell that he suspected her of ulterior motives.She didn’t have any.She’d invited him because it was Veterans Day, and he was a veteran.Bringing a date did have its perks, however.This year, the other women wouldn’t come around to pat her hand, express their sympathies, and ask her when she was going to start living again.As if she’d stopped breathing when Mike died and needed a new man to revive her.
Instead of exploring this subject, she turned the conversation back to him.“Long-distance hiking must be hard on the body.”
“It is.”
“Why do you do it?Are you some kind of masochist?”
“I don’t know.I can’t say I enjoy pain, but…”
“What?”
“Sometimes pain is better than nothing.”
She didn’t agree.For her, comfortably numb was better.
He took another slug of coffee.“I’m trying to slow down.”
“You are?”
“I need to rest more.Stay still.”
It occurred to her that his inability to sit idle was a problem, not a perk.What drove a man to walk across the country, to endure constant discomfort?“You sat and rested yesterday,” she said.She’d enjoyed the quiet moments with him, sitting and listening to the rain.
“I did,” he said.“You’re good for me.”
“Maybe you can chill out an entire day.”
“Let’s not aim too high.”
She smiled, shaking her head.“What do you have planned?”
“I thought we could check out that upper apartment.See what it needs.”
She should have expected this suggestion.They’d discussed it last night, and he was into fixing things.He wanted to stick around.Maybe he was tired of traveling and didn’t have anywhere else to go until January.She wondered if he’d been joking about walking to California.She studied the lines of his face.He could use a shave, but he was handsome as sin despite his rough appearance.She felt her cheeks heat as she admired him.Marcus wasn’t the only one starving for male attention.
“OK,” she agreed.“But not before my second cup of coffee.”
“Deal.”
She went inside to check on Marcus.He’d found a mini-toolbox in the toy bin with a plastic hammer and screwdriver.He was pretending to repair the TV.She ruffled his hair.“How’s it going, Mr.Fixit?”
“I’m almost done.”
Natalie smiled a bit sadly.She realized that letting Jason hang around for several days would have an effect on her son.The emotional toll wasn’t hers alone; Marcus would pay with her.He was already imitating Jason.Marcus was so impressionable, so eager to interact.Should she try to prevent them from spending time together in case Marcus got attached?She didn’t know how to calculate the risks of a casual relationship.The issue hadn’t come up before.Even if she protected herself from heartbreak, Marcus wouldn’t.She started clearing away the breakfast dishes, wishing things weren’t so complicated.Jason came inside after she finished.He stood in the doorway, tall and quiet.
“Do you mind if I use your shower?”
She drained her coffee cup.“Go for it.”
He gathered his belongings from the dryer and ducked into her bathroom.As she retreated to her bedroom to get dressed, she considered lending him some of Mike’s clothes.She still had a box of his things in the back of her closet.She stared into the dark space, her stomach tight.Jason wasn’t the same size as Mike, and she couldn’t bear to sort through the items right now.The letters Mike had written her were in another box, tied with a yellow ribbon that hadn’t brought him home.
She left both of the boxes undisturbed.
When Jason emerged from the bathroom, with his black hair wet and his face clean-shaven, her heart skipped a beat.He wore his gray T-shirt and jeans.Clearing his throat, he went outside to put his boots on.She retrieved the key to the upper floor.She was resigned to letting him view it, even though she couldn’t afford an expensive remodel.
Marcus accompanied them around the side of the house to the separate entrance by the driveway.A wooden staircase led up to the door.Jason went first, testing the integrity of the stairs with heavy steps.
“The railing needs to be replaced,” he said.“Be careful.”
