Page 94 of Cowboy's Last Stand
“You’re working too hard.”
“I’ll stop.”
She appeared skeptical.“Will you?”
He considered the puttering Ford.It was difficult to curb his urge to keep moving, completing one task after another.More proof that he couldn’t settle down, from her perspective.The frustration he’d felt last night reasserted itself.“This is what I do,” he said haltingly, “when I have a hard time processing my feelings.”
She tilted her head to one side.“You’ve been in therapy?”
“Yes.”
“Not just physical therapy.”
He acknowledged this truth with a tight nod.
“Did it help?”
“What do you think?”
She gave him a measured look.“Are you better than you were before?”
“I was heavily medicated before.I prefer this.”
Her features softened with understanding.
Jason glanced away, feeling vulnerable.He didn’t want her sympathy.He wanted to give her pleasure, to assuage his sins, and make them both forget the past.“It’s almost noon.Are you hungry?”
“Sure,” she murmured.
“I’ll pick up some lunch.”
He drove her car to a nearby deli for sandwiches to go.Jason figured the truck was reliable enough for short trips around town, and he’d like to take it for a spin, but he could wait.When he entered the house, he found it still and quiet.Natalie was curled up on the couch, fast asleep.Marcus was snoring in his bedroom.Jason studied Natalie’s face for several moments, his heart in his throat.
He’d never been in love before.It wasn’t a gentle emotion, not soft or soothing like a mother’s touch.It was deep and powerful and unsettling.
Jason didn’t know if he could be the man she needed him to be, and that scared him.He hated the thought of disappointing her.She didn’t deserve any more hurt or pain.There was another person to consider, as well.Marcus would be affected by the outcome.In his young life, he’d already lost too much.
Jason put the food in the fridge and exited the house silently.For once, he wasn’t hungry.He locked the door behind him and examined the exterior of the house to plan for camera locations.Then he retrieved his eyeglasses from his pack because he’d forgotten them earlier and borrowed her car again.He found that he didn’t mind the cramped confines of the vehicle anymore.With the windows down, it was quite pleasant.Before the accident, he’d enjoyed driving.He might not be able to ride hell-for-leather on horseback, but he could drive.He didn’t have to walk everywhere.
He filled up at the gas station on his way to the hardware store.Inside, he purchased the door camera Wade had recommended, along with an electric screwdriver and a handful of other items.When he spotted a discount furniture store, he pulled over again.After browsing the floor, he purchased a compact sofa and a twin XL mattress.
The mattress was the most difficult item to buy.He couldn’t even look at frames or other bedroom furnishings.He had slept indoors since he’d been injured, of course.He’d slept in a hospital bed with a cast on his leg and bandages around his head.He’d slept in his former bedroom at his father’s house, drugged to the gills.But he hadn’t been able to stomach confinement after his body healed, and he’d stopped taking the medication.It had felt suffocating to stay inside for any length of time.
He paid a little extra to have the furniture delivered.Then he returned to Natalie’s house and contemplated the antiques she’d salvaged.There was a small dinette set, a bookshelf, and a floor lamp with a fringed shade.All of it was good quality; she had excellent taste.He dusted off the items and carried the items upstairs.The floor lamp needed a fresh bulb and new wiring.His mind flashed back to days spent dismantling explosives as he accomplished the task, but his hands were ever-steady.When he was finished, he pulled the chain to turn on the light.The lamp’s warm glow lit up the room.
He was pleased with the decor.The round table and two chairs had a minimalist, retro vibe.With the original hardwood floors and brick fireplace, the place looked cozy and quaint.He would put the sofa in the center of the room.He imagined Natalie by the fire, curled up with a book on a rainy day.
Could he rest easily in this space?No.
Could he endure it long enough to seduce Natalie?Yes.
Should he do that with so much at stake?No.
Would he do it anyway?Yes.
He lumbered down the steps, frowning.Natalie stood at the base of the stairs.She was watching Marcus practice tai chi moves in the driveway.The boy moved with his usual energy, arms and legs flying.
“Someone’s feeling better,” Jason said to Natalie.
