Page 17 of Desiderium
“I’m happy you won, too,” I say, raking my fingers through his hair. “Since you have me all to yourself tonight, what do you want to do?”
“Oh sweets, there’s very little I don’t want to do to you.” He dips his head, peeking his tongue out and catching my nipple with its tip, teasing it to a point. He does the sameto the other, looking at me from under his lashes the entire time.
My breath catches, causing my breasts to press further toward his face. An unintentional but rewarding reaction as he grasps both breasts in his large hands, squeezing the ache from them. “Show me. Pick something we haven’t done yet together,” I moan breathlessly, eager and almost desperate to hear what he has in mind.
He lifts his eyes again, releasing my breasts to softly draw a finger across them as he stares at me. “Something we haven’t done yet...,” he mutters. His eyebrows turn down and his focus goes in and out as if he’s thinking hard about something but the thought doesn’t seem to make him happy. Rather, it saddens the spark in his eyes.
“What is it?”
“I want...,” he stops, shaking his head. “Never mind.”
I draw my hand down his face, caressing his cheek until he looks up at me. Pain and frustration echo in his eyes as concern and curiosity war within me. “Hawk, it’s ok. You can tell me anything.”
He lifts himself and crawls further over my body, holding his weight on his elbows on either side of me. His eyes dart between mine and I suddenly realize how serious this evening just got by his gaze alone.
“Aly...,” he sighs.
“What is it?” I go to sit up but he holds one hand up to halt my movement, his weight keeping me under him. “Hawk, talk to me.”
“The one thing I want to do with you more than anything else... I can’t. Not really. Not anymore.”
My lips turn down, nervous at what he may be referring to. What could he possibly want to do with me that we can’t do anymore? At my confused state, he continues.
“The one thing, above all else, that I could possibly want from you... that trumps everything else I could possibly want...isyou.” The desperate look in his eyes carves me to the core. But I don’t understand. He has me. They all do. Heart, body and soul. What am I missing here? He takes a deep breath and shakes his head slightly, almost like he’s preparing himself for what he’s about to reveal.
“I wish I could marry you, Aly. Plain and simple. You and me. A big ass gaudy church. Annoying family gathered to celebrate us. The whole nine yards. I want my ring on your finger and to be able to walk around in this fucking world and show them all that you chose me.” He scrunches his nose. “Even if I have to share you with those two knuckleheads downstairs—which I’m perfectly ok with doing by the way—we still can’t marry you. Not the way I wish we could, anyway.” He shrugs before returning his face to my chest, only this time he chooses to lay on them rather than tease me.
Oh Hawk. My sweet, sensitive, hopelessly romantic man. I brush my fingers across his stubbled jaw as his gaze returns to mine. “I love you, Hawk. To the moon and back again. And that will never change. No ceremony, special day or rituals needed. I am yours, and Cole’s and Jax’s, and you all are mine, for as long as we each shall live. We don’t need to declare that to anyone else as long as we know it, deep inour hearts. In our souls. We’re no longer individuals... we’reus.”
At my declaration, he lifts himself over me once again. With his face directly over mine, he brings a palm up to my face, his eyes twinkling with unshed tears. “I am yours and you are mine. Us. Together... until the end.”
I nod, tears skating across my own eyes as he presses forward, his lips covering my own to seal our vows. The kiss we share isn’t just a seal to complete our promises to one another. It’s an all-consuming declaration of our undying love for one another. It’s passionate. Heart stopping.Infinite.He makes me feel alive and steals my breath away all at the same time. It’s how forever feels.
Hawk pulls back, our heaving chests and heavy breaths loud in the silence as he licks his lips, a mischievous smirk back on his face as he digs his hips into mine. The hardened steel between us, unmistakable.
“Well, if I can’t officially marry you, I can at least worship you.” Lowering his face, his lips meet my sternum, peppering my torso in light kisses as he slowly descends the length of my body. “The way you want.”Kiss.“The way you need.”Kiss.“The way you deserve to be.”With one last tantalizing kiss, he smiles, waggling his eyebrows before diving headfirst in between my legs.
“Oh, Aah! Oh my God. Fuck!” Like a ravenous lion, his mouth attacks my core, leaving no space untouched.
“You know,” he says, his voice muffled as he continues to lick and kiss and tease me between words, “there are a lot of things we’ve done all together... but neverjustus.” I hear his words but have no time to process them as he nips at my clit before pressing his tongue to my pussy.
“Holy shit, yes. Right there. Oh fuck!” I’m racing to my orgasm but he pulls back just before I crash.
Son of a...
“No no, sweetness. No coming yet.” His voice, a low tremor of seductive torture. At my bewildered look, he elaborates, “Yeah, you can totally blame Cole for teaching me about edging. Shit’s fun as hell and gets you soaking everything within a three-foot radius. Pure. Gold.” He kisses his fingertips with a flourish before winking down at me.
“You know what? I think we’re gonna do it all. Just us. You... and me.” He toys with my nipple as his voice lowers even further. “I’m gonna take you every way I can think of. Every way you’ll let me.” His words are pure threatening ecstasy, causing my heart to race and my insides to melt. He laps at my thigh, his tongue finding every sensitive spot on me with practiced ease. “Gonna lick every inch of you.” Placing his fingers at my weeping core, he presses in, gliding the tips up and down my slit before sliding them ever so easily into my soaking wet channel. “Pound this beautiful pussy.” He pumps his fingers in and out, only to withdraw them when I need him the most. Lifting to his knees, he smiles down at me, knowingly. “Leave you begging for reprieve while screaming for more. What do you think, sweetheart? Would you like that?”
My face flushes but I quirk a tiny seductive smile, knowing I’m about to make him go even redder. “Why stop there. Why not take my ass, too?”
His mouth drops at the same time his head shoots back on his shoulders, staring at the ceiling. “Oh, holy fuck, I think I just came a little. Can I? Is that on the menu, too? Holy shit, Aly,” he groans.
I smile, victory in my eyes as I sit up and kneel on the bed, coming face to face with him. Slowly walking two fingers up his chest, I taunt him. “You won me.Everything’son the menu. And I’m starving.”
“Oh, you dirty girl,” he groans as he moves off the bed and stands up. “You wonderful, slutty little nymph. Alright. Let’s do this. You said you’re hungry? Then, get your sexy mouth down there and feast on my cock.”
Oh.... Yes, please...
