Page 47 of Desiderium
“Fuck it. Fine.” I relent and nod, motioning to our neck gaiters. We lift and position them over our faces as we finish preparing ourselves. I grip my knife while she unsheathes hers and turns, opening the door and stepping outside. I do the same on my side and am hit with the rotting stench of death as soon as I do so.
Not wasting any time, I stalk over to the first one and slam my knife right into its eye socket, the body falling to the ground instantly. The second zombie is a little faster, gaining ground as I raise the blade but I manage to jam it in its temple before it can reach me.
With both of mine down, I turn towards Aly, straddling her chosen zombie. He’s dead.Morethan dead, actually. Half its head is simply nonexistent anymore from the continuous stabs she’s driving into it.
I take a deep breath and check our surroundings. It’s quiet here. One could even saypeacefulif not for the current situation. There’re no bird or animal sounds. No rustling of leaves in the background. No hustle and bustle of midday traffic drowning out the atmosphere.
Just quiet.
Silent.
Well... except for Aly.
Her heaving grunts and growls are loud as she drives her blade into the body beneath her. The squelching sound emitting from the oozing flesh echoes around us as she lifts her arm and stabs the head again…and again…and again.
“Aly, that’s enough. It’s gone. We’re done here.”
She pulls the blade from the bone, spraying blood and brain matter everywhere before she swings her arms down again, pouring her pain into the movement.
Again.
And again.
“Aly….”
She doesn’t hear me as she continues, stabbing whatever remains the corpse has left, which is next to nothing at this point.
Again.
And then again.
Enough.
I wrap my arms around hers from behind, halting her next blow. She fights me, twisting her body and kicking her legs, trying to strike down again; to force the blade to find a home in the mass of putrid flesh beneath her.
“NO!” she yells out. “They did this!Theydid this to him! He didn’t do anything and they fucking did this!”
“I know, baby.”
“THEY DID THIS!” she screams to the heavens, her body tense in my arms as tears flow down her face. My breath catches in my throat at her pain as I’m reminded of what’s at stake here. As if I could ever fucking forget.
“I know, but he’s going to be alright.” It’s a difficult scenario to fathom, and I feel the same way she does, so I try to reassure her, but I also need to shut this down before she draws a horde right to us. She shakes her head in return.
“You don’t know that! How could you possibly know that?!” she screams, her words barely hanging on as they fly through the air.
Enough.
I need her to see the truth in my eyes—that even though it’s out of my hands, we still have to believe, until we can’t anymore, that Cole is going to be ok. Focusing on the negative will tear us down and force us to wither away in our grief, but we need to be stronger than ever in order to get through this.
Twisting her around in my arms, I grab her face between my palms, forcing her to be still as my voice cracks, betraying my confidence. “Look at me! He’s going to be alright, Goddammit! Now, let’s get those supplies and get back to him and you’ll see for yourself. He’s going to be alright.”
He’s going to be alright….
Aly takes in a shaky breath but reluctantly allows me to pull her up and move us back over to the car. Safely distanced away from the bodies, we remove our balaclavas, discarding them and all our blood-splattered clothes on the side of the road before I hand her a couple of disinfecting wipes from my bug-out bag. Her breakdown left everything we were wearing—well, all except our skivvies—bloody and we can’t take a chance of contaminating our one mode of transportation.
Once we’ve sanitized ourselves, she turns and looks me square in the eyes, only hers are unfocused and glazed over. “We’re all screwed, aren’t we? Like… we’re already dead and we don’t even know it yet.” Her words hollow and detached.
Fuck…
