Page 56 of Letters of Faith
Mondays have to be the longest day ever. Nothing will convince me they are not thirty-six hours long instead of twenty-four.
Grayson and I were run ragged today, not getting time between clients to see each other. The poor guy is still at the office in meetings. He texted me around five to tell me that his meetings were running late and that I should go ahead and head out.
I was grateful for the reprieve, but as I’m driving home to sit at an empty house alone, I have the sudden urge to turn around and wait for him to join me.
That would be crazy, though. We already live beside each other, and I see him every day at work. We’ve been friends forever, but it’s different now that we are in a relationship. I’ve needed him a lot this past year. I can’t recall him ever having one serious girlfriend. I don’t want to be one of the girls he gets tired of because I don’t give him space. I’d even thought about finding a new job, but honestly, even taking Grayson out of the picture, I love this job. So, I’ll just make sure to give him space in other areas—not waiting around the office or texting him 24/7—and maybe it’s time to start thinking about going home. I’ve intruded on his space for a year. Plus, the idea of going back to the home where Nate and I experienced both life and deathdoesn’t seem so hard anymore. In fact, it feels like the next step of healing for me. I’ll mention it to Grayson next time I see him.
Despite all that, I still don’t want to go home tonight and sit in a house alone, so instead, I find myself turning onto the road my parents live on.
I haven’t seen either of them since Grayson and I started dating. I know they’ve heard the rumors, but I artfully dodge their questions when they call. It’s not because I don’t want them to know, but Mom has a way of ruining what she doesn’t approve of. I don’t know if she would approve of this, so I’ve been avoiding it.
But I can’t avoid it forever, and I don’t want to. I’m not trying to hide Grayson. He has been my rock for a long time, and that’s not something I’m ashamed of.
When I pull into their house, the lights are on in the living room, but I keep my car running for two minutes while collecting myself. Reaching for my phone, I start to text Grayson to tell him where I am, just in case. When I slide my thumb across the screen, though, the red battery pops up. I have got to start remembering to charge it at night.
Throwing it into the cup holder, I place my hands on the steering wheel and let my head follow. Coming here may have been a bad idea.
Nerves prickle my skin. I wasn’t afraid of the whole town finding out we were dating when we went to the grocery store, but the first time I have to face my mother, all bets are off.
“Get it together, Georgia,” I say, giving myself a pep talk in my rear-view mirror. “You can do this. They are your parents, and they love you.”
With one more deep breath, I step out of the car and into the cold—without my winter jacket on, because I despise wearing it while I’m driving. The cold air stings through my sweater. Running up the porch, I sling open the door and burst into the living room as if someone were chasing me.
My parents sit in their recliners, and they startle when I run in.
“Georgia Jane,” my mother scolds. “You scared the dickens out of me. What are you doing here? We weren’t expecting you.”
Her hand is over her heart, and I feel a little bad because her face is pale. I should have called.
My dad, ever the peacemaker, sits up straight on high alert. “What is it, Georgia? Is something wrong?”
Giving him a sheepish grin, I tuck my hair behind my ear and say, “There’s nothing wrong. I just missed you guys. Plus, I left my coat in the car, so sorry for bursting in and making you worry.”
As expected, my mom huffs in annoyance and rolls her eyes, going right back to the sewing kit in her lap. My dad, though, grins and pats the arm of the couch beside him.
“Well, now that you’re here, come take a seat.”
I slip my shoes off at the door and pad across the well-worn hardwood until I’m sitting on the couch right beside my dad.
He’s watching a game show. My parents have a routine for every night. On Monday night, they eat supper at precisely four o’clock, clean the kitchen together, and then Dad watches a game show while Mom sews. I don’t know that I can ever remember a time when they deviated from that schedule, not even when I was living at home.
After I’m settled on the couch beside him, my dad wastes no time getting to the question I know they’ve both been dying to ask.
“So—how’s Grayson?”
I have two options: pretend that I’m oblivious to the real question he is asking, or rip off the bandage and get it all out there. An overwhelming need to have Grayson here beside me hits me right in the gut. Taking a deep breath, I decide to use some of the strength he always seems to lend me.
“I know that you know, Dad.”
He chuckles and says, “You gotme there, kiddo.”
In the other corner of the room, my mom drops her sewing into her lap and studies me. Her face is hard to read, and I try not to squirm under her scrutiny. She has a way of seeing right through me—I haven’t mastered my poker face when it comes to her.
Finally, right when I’m about to jump up and confess every bad thing I’ve ever done, she says, “Why didn’t you tell us? Did you think we would be mad?”
I can’t stand the disappointment in her eyes. Looking down, I pick at one of my nails so I don’t have to face it.
“At first, I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure what I felt—or if he felt the same way. Grayson’s been there for me every day during the worst time of my life, and I didn’t recognize that my feelings were changing until one day, I couldn’t deny it anymore. Then, when I found out that we felt the same, I guess I was protective of it. I didn’t want the world ruining it for me, and I was proven right when I ran into Ms. Taylor at the grocery store.”
