Page 165 of Redemption
And with each one that falls, a piece of me heals.
I’d been hiding my brokenness from him, pretending he didn’t already see it, but he saw it all. He was just waiting for me to lay it down.
A sense of peace wraps around me, calming my thundering heart and slowing my tears.
I can’t promise I won’t pick up my cross and try to shoulder it on my own again. I’m human, and it’s hard to see past my unworthiness, but I’m tired of running.
With tears drying on my face, I push up off the floor, staying on my knees.
The door creeks open behind me, and I turn my head just enough to look over my shoulder.
And for one single moment, my heart stops beating because Tanner Sylvis is standing in the doorway, looking broken to his core.
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“Coach,” he cries, stumbling forward, and I push from my knees, running to him.
I meet him in the middle of the aisle, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight.
He sobs into my shoulder, his whole body shaking with the weight of his tears. His face is buried into my shirt, his hands clutching onto the fabric like a lost little boy, and it hits me that’s what he is.
He’s just a kid who has his whole life to figure out the big things, and I know what that openness looks like. It’s scary to look at the void of your future and not know where it’s going—especially when you had it all mapped out.
“Tanner, where have you been?” I ask, cradling his head with my hand and laying my cheek against his hair.
“I was mad, Coach. I didn’t know where to go with my anger.” His sobs are like hiccups now, making it hard to understand him. “I’ve been wandering for hours. I—I didn’t know where to go, but then I—I remembered the way Bella talked about God. I just needed a safe spot, man.”
“Tanner. Hey, Tanner, look at me.”
He doesn’t lift his head, but that’s okay. I hold him anyway.
“You have so many safe spots, buddy. Please don’t do this alone. I know it feels like people are against you—but we aren’t. We want the best for you, even when you can’t see it.”
“My mom’s going to be so disappointed, and my dad—I don’t even know him, man—not really.”
“Hey, first of all, if your mom is going to be disappointed because you don’t play football anymore. That’s on her, not you. She has her own problems to work out, and they are not yours totake on. And as far as your dad goes—your feelings are valid. But for what it’s worth, I think he really cares about you. He’s been worried sick all day. He hasn’t stopped looking for you.”
Tanner sniffles, lifting his head to look at me. His eyes are rimmed red, and from the way he winces every few seconds, I would say he’s overdone it today with his concussion. I need to get him home, but he needs this first—a moment to just feel seen and heard.
“Really?” he asks, hope in his voice for the first time.
“Yeah, man. He loves you, and I know you didn’t understand his reasoning for things last night—and maybe the timing was bad—but I think he’s trying to do his best by you. I think you should talk to him, and if you want me to be there, I will.”
“You would do that, Coach?”
I hold both sides of his face so he can see the truth of what I’m telling him on my face. “Without hesitation, and do you know why?” He shakes his head, tears sitting on his eyelashes. “Because you are more than a player to me, Tanner.”
“I don’t think I know who I am without football.”
I nearly laugh, not because it’s funny, but because of how history has a way of repeating itself.
“Neither did I, kid, but we’ll figure it out.”
Chapter 50
Mallorie Jade
I’m waiting outside on the sidewalk when Hayes pulls into Tanner’s dad’s house with Tanner.
