Page 68 of Redemption
Thank goodness for small miracles, I guess.
“Whoever let you order a lock-picking kit should be arrested for creating chaos. Stop breaking into my house.”
Campbell shrugs, “It’s not breaking in if I’m wanted here. It’s merely letting myself in.”
Snorting, I say, “I don’t know who told you that you are wanted here, but they lied.”
“Shut up,” Campbell says, standing carefully to not wake Kota. I swear that dog is more spoiled than any kid I’ve ever seen—listens about as well as a kid, too. “You know you love me. You’re grumpy. Let me guess—something happened with MJ at practice today.”
It’s scary how eerily close he is to the truth. It makes me wonder if someone was standing outside on the sidewalk when I kissed MJ inside the house. Anyone could have seen us kissing through the front window, and in this town, something like that wouldn’t have stayed a secret.
“Are you asking because you know, or are you guessing?” I ask, stopping in the hall where I had been heading to change my clothes.
That nap is looking less and less probable.
“Well, if I didn’t already know, you just told me there,” Campbell says, a cheeky grin on his lips.
Resignation has me walking back to the living room and sitting on the loveseat. I’ve been an idiot more than once today. That kiss should have stayed between MJ and me until we could figure out what it means. Now, it will be spread around until everyone in town knows.
Campbell stays quiet while I process, but within seconds, he bursts out in laughter. He clutches his sides, laughing so hard Kota wakes up to find out what the ruckus is about. I sit, clenching my teeth and waiting for him to calm down so he can explain.
A full minute later, when he finally has himself under control, he wipes under his eyes and slings himself back onto the couch.
“Care to explain what you find so funny?” I ask through my teeth, cocking an eyebrow.
He shrugs. “You still love her, and all it took was a black eye and one football practice for you to lose your mind. Hayes, you are the most controlled person I know—like freakishly in control. I like messing with you because you always need things to turn out the way you plan, but you didn’t plan for this—youcouldn’tplan for this. I’m just imagining what it will be like when you fully lose your grip on that control. You’re slowly starting to unravel, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed.”
“I’m not losing control,” I grit out.
Campbell’s face sobers. “Yeah, Hayes, you are, and it’s good for you. Langston never saw the way you looked at MJ in high school. He was too lost in his own trouble, but I did. I noticed. There was only one other time that you let go of that control, and something awful and devastating happened. You’ve been holding on to it pretty tight ever since. But you need to listen to me when I say this—Langston didn’t die because you finally letyourself live a little. That’s not what happened, and I think it’s past time you realize that.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” It comes out harsher than I mean it to.
The lines on Campbell’s mouth are firm, and he huffs out a laugh of disbelief.
“Do you think that Langston‘s death didn’t shatter me? He was my best friend too. I’ve just been better about putting the pieces back together. Sooner or later, Hayes, God is going to force you to realize that you are not the one in control. He is. So how about you loosen that grip you have and let him in?”
Swallowing, I shake my head. He may know the grief of losing Langston, but he doesn’t know the guilt.
But before I can say anything, Campbell interrupts. “Don’t let her slip away this time. You both deserve better than that.”
The idea of going back to a life without MJ in it hits me in the gut.
I didn’t realize I was only half living these past six years without her, but that’s exactly what I was doing. I’ve only let myself experience a diluted version of life because, without her, all the colors were dulled. I thought it was because of the guilt I had over Langston’s death, and I won’t lie and say that’s not at least some of it, but the other part is because MJ was missing.
Campbell must realize that his point landed because he smiles again and stands up, clapping me on the shoulder. “And that’s all for our therapy session today. Glad I could be of service.”
He walks to the door, and it’s only when he has it open that he says, “Thanks for the food, by the way. Those leftovers were delicious.”
Then he’s running out before I can get to him.
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This has been the longest shift of my life. Even longer than the day MJ came back to town.
Nothing is happening. I should be grateful for that. I’m running on little to no sleep, and the quiet nights are usually the ones I live for.
Tonight, I was hoping for some action, even if it meant chasing a cow back into its pasture. At least my mind would be occupied with something other than my conversation with Campbell and the kiss I shared with MJ.
