Page 79 of Redemption
Anger burns deep in my soul.
“If you’re asking if it had anything to do with you, the answer is no. My decision to become a nurse had nothing to do with following in your footsteps.” The words are cruel. I regret them once they are out, but there’s no taking them back. The damage is done. I can see it in the way his shoulders stiffen, and his posture straightens.
His words are wooden when he finally speaks. “Thanks for clearing that up. I’ll leave you to your packing.”
He turns and walks out of my room without another word. I should call him back and explain to him the real reason I became a nurse, but that would mean admitting more to him than I’m willing to give. So, I stay silent and let that relationship crack a little further.
Chapter 25
Hayes
My phone dings with an incoming text, and I peek one eye open to look at it.
We lost another game last night.
The varsity team stood murderous on the sideline while they watched the younger team play their game. I don’t think they took me seriously until they stepped onto the sideline to play last night, and I stuck to my word.
Then, this morning, Tanner didn’t show up for our practice.
MJ was devastated when the kid didn’t show, but I told her he was probably licking his wounds from our loss—at least, I hope that’s what it was.
I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing—leading them in a direction that helps them. I feel like I’m grasping at straws and praying it works–only I’m not praying.
It’s not from lack of trying, either. Since that day on the football field, I’ve tried over and over. But the words won’t come.
Silas says I’m worthy of redemption, but it doesn’t feel that way.
The stress of this team is piling up, and it feels like I’m one mistake away from ruining someone’s life again—especially Tanner’s.
The team needs a leader, and I’d hoped that by helping Tanner, he might turn out to be that leader—but after the game last night and his absence this morning, I’m not so sure.
MJ’s name pops up on my screen, and I swipe my thumb across it to read the text. It’s been a week since she declared we should be friends, and I would say that, at least, is going pretty well—besides the fact that each time I’ve been in her presence, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss we shared—or all the things she’s not telling me.
What loss did she suffer that sent her running back here when she vowed to never come back again? Did she have to deal with it alone?
The never-ending questions have me tugging at my hair, pulling hard enough that my scalp aches, but at least for a moment, the pain distracts me from the regret I have for not chasing her down when she left.
She spent six years on her own. What did she have to face with no one there to stand beside her?
MJ:Would you like to take a break from sulking about your loss and do something fun with me?
Hayes:I’m not sulking.
MJ:*side eye
Hayes:Aren’t you the one who told me about emojis?
MJ:I was trying to use the language of your people—the elderly. Anyway, you’re getting distracted. Focus on the question.
Hayes:What do you constitute as fun?
MJ:Furniture shopping.
Hayes:Do you need to look up the definition of fun?
MJ:It’s with me so that automatically makes it fun.
Hayes:Fine. I’m in.
