Page 14 of Grace Notes
Okay, maybe I don’t care so much about that last one.
I want Avery to know what it looks like when a man loves her, and I’m determined to show her that by loving her mom to the best of my ability.
Avery looks up from her dolls as Emryn walks over to the front door and lets my dad in, but when she sees it’s him, she goes back to her toys, ignoring him.
A crushing weight sits on my chest. Avery loves my dad, and I can’t ever remember a time when she didn’t rush him as soon as he stepped through the door.
This is worse than I thought.
“Avery,” I call her name, keeping the emotions from my voice. “Papaw Kip is here. He’s going to stay with you for a little while so your mom and I can go on a date.”
She ignores me, pointing her nose up in the air and intentionally closing her ears.
“Avery Marie,” I say, the words a little more pointed this time. I understand she’s angry and hurting, but it doesn’t give her the right to act like this. She still has to respect us as her parents.
Again, she tilts her nose higher and tightens her hands over her ears.
Frustration bubbles under my skin. I step toward her, but a soft hand lands on my arm.
Emryn stands beside me, sadness coloring her eyes. She swallows, staring at Avery and then looking at me. “You have to calm down.”
I scoff, irritation itching at my skin. “Are you saying I should let her act that way?”
My wife shakes her head, blonde curls tumbling around her shoulders. “No. I’m not saying that. She needs to know that this behavior isn’t acceptable, but you’re going in agitated. And that’s only going to escalate for both of you. So take a deep breath, and then go over there. I’ll be right behind you.”
With a jerk of my head, I do as she asks, taking a deep breath. She’s right—anger breeds anger—and Avery has enough of her own right now.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my dad standing at the door, wringing his hands. Avery is the one person he changed for. When she was born, I told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he wouldn’t be a part of her life. He did it for her, and I know this has to be hurting him. Right now, he looks a little haggard. His gray hair is mussed, looking like he’s run his hand through it a million times, and dark bags sit under his eyes. He catches me looking at him and quickly turns his head, but not before I see the tears gleaming in his eyes.
“I’ll be—I left something in my truck,” he says, rushing back out the door.
And after that, it takes another two breaths until I’m finally ready. When I walk toward Avery this time, I keep my shoulders lowered and my breaths even.
Emryn slips her hand in mine, and we approach our daughter, taking on this challenge in her life as a team.
“Avery,” I say as we approach. “Please put the dolls down and stand up here.”
“No.”
The word is like a lash against my skin. In a matter of weeks, my sweet, innocent daughter has disappeared, and in her place is a ball of anger.
“Avery,” Emryn tries, “your dad asked you to do something, and you don’t get to tell us no. You can either put the dolls down and talk to us, or we can take them. You won’t get them back for a while if we do that.”
Our daughter’s lip pokes out, pouting, but she puts the dolls down.
It’s progress, at least.
Scooping her up in my arms, I hug her close to me. Her body trembles against me, and I squeeze tighter, wishing that my love was enough to fix things for her. “Bug, we need to talk. Do you think you can listen? You don’t have to say anything—just listen, okay?”
Her body stiffens. “No.”
“Bug, no isn’t an option,” Emryn says, smoothing her hand over her back. “We know you’re angry, and it’s okay to be. But we also have to know what to do with those emotions—and ignoring us and saying no when we ask something of you is not how we deal with them.”
Avery kicks against me, banging her fist against my back, and screams. “Let me go. Let me go. Let me go.”
I set her down like she asks, but I hold her fist between my hands, not letting her hit me. “Avery, you can’t hit.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I hate you.” She kicks at me again, catching me in the shin.
