Page 93 of Salvation
Walking around the couch, he sits down beside me and pulls my legs into his lap. His head falls back on the cushion, and he rolls it toward me. “So,” he says, watching me, “I couldn’t help overhear you on the phone. How are things going with your uncle?”
I’d told Campbell everything about Charles the day he took me to see my painting under the willow tree, including how I was hesitant to have a relationship with him, and he hadn’t judged me for it. If there is anyone who can understand my hesitation, it’s him. After all, it was never just me who was hurt by my family. It was Campbell, too.
“He wants me to meet his family,” I say, chewing on my bottom lip.
“And how do you feel about that?” He asks, arching a brow.
I find his eyes, letting his gaze keep me steady. “If he had asked me a couple of months ago, I would have said no. Actually, I did, but—” I stop, shaking my head. “I think I want to now. I talked to your mom the other night. It made me realize that I’ve been keeping people at arm’s length, afraid of the ways they could hurt me, but that’s not how I want to live my life anymore. Loving you and Willow is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but that’s only because I let you both in. I think I might miss out on something good if I keep pushing him away.”
I drop my gaze, picking a piece of fuzz off the stuffed animal in my hand, but a soft grip on my ankle causes me to look up.
“I’m proud of you, Ivy.” Campbell’s blue eyes sear into me, making me feel seen.
“Yeah,” I say, my lips tugging up into a soft smile. “I think I’m proud of me, too.”
Silence falls between us, but it isn’t uncomfortable. It’s the kind that falls between two people who are content to just be in each other’s presence. After a moment, though, my curiosity leads me to break it.
Holding up my hand, I ask, “Have you taken a liking to stuffed animals or something? Like, do you have a secret room full of them that I should know about?”
Campbell’s eyes fall to the soft fur of the animal and then back to me. “I bought it for Willow.”
“I mean, I’m not sure Willow seems like the kind of sixteen-year-old who’s into stuffed animals,” I say gently, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
He snorts and shakes his head. “Yeah, I don’t think she is. I didn’t mean I bought it now. I bought it sixteen years ago.”
“What?” I ask, standing up so quickly it makes me dizzy.
Campbell’s hand circles my wrist, pulling me back down to him, and when I’m sitting on the couch again, he leans in, touching his nose to mine.
“I bought it sixteen years ago,” he reiterates, his voice cracking. “Because I was always planning on being there, Ivy. I was always planning on loving you and our baby.”
I’ve spent years trying to convince myself that I hated Campbell, but I think the reason I was never able to is because a part of me always knew he would do the right thing—other people just got in the way of that.
An agonizing plea brightens his eyes, begging me to believe him, and I do. I always did.
Leaning forward, I press my nose against his and whisper. “I know, Campbell, and I was always planning on loving you, too.”
______________________
I’m standing outside of a church, staring at a set of wooden doors. My hands shake by my side, and my heart is beating so hard I’m afraid I might pass out. I spent days going back and forth about where I wanted to meet Charles and his family, and ultimately, that decision led me here.
A warm hand slides into mine, and I look over to find Campbell smiling down at me.
“I’ll be ready to go in a minute,” I say more confidently than I actually feel, but I should have known Campbell would know what I’m really thinking. He always knows.
With his free hand, he twists a curl around his finger and smiles. “I’m not rushing you, sunshine. We’ll go in when you’re ready, and if you decide today’s not the day you are ready, we’ll walk right back to my truck. I’ll open your door, and we’ll drive away. We’re on your time, okay?”
“Okay,” I agree. Campbell drops a quick kiss to my lips, and then I go back to staring at the door.
Another presence steps up beside me, and I turn my head to look at Willow, who has a disgusted look on her face. “You guys are sickeningly gross.”
Campbell cuts his hand across his throat and widens his eyes toward me, as if I can’t see him warning her that now is not the time for her jokes. Willow sighs and rolls her eyes.
“Look,” she says, turning to me. “I don’t know what you’re nervous about, but solidarity, you know.”
She lifts her hand in a fist to show she’s on my side, and I press my lips together, holding back a chuckle. I wasn’t sure how things would be between us after the football game, but two days later, she’d shown up at the mural, ready to work. I’ve been working to gain her trust ever since because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you can’t see the full picture of life when you are sixteen years old. I never had an older adult I could confide in when I was younger. Della Rae was the closest thing I had, andeven with her, I never fully felt like I could tell her everything. I want Willow to trust me enough to know that she can come to me with anything, and I’ll never judge her for it. So I’m letting her come to me on her terms.
“Thanks, Willow,” I say, some of the nerves slipping from my stomach, but when I turn back to the wooden door, they crash back in like a ton of weights.
