Page 56 of Tear Me Down
“Yeah, we didn’t really believe it at first either. If you would’ve been around, you wouldn’t have had to hear it from me.”
I expect her to roll her eyes and lash out at me again, but she surprises me by whispering a defeated acknowledgement.
“I know…” She takes a deep breath and shakes her head again before looking back at the house. I watch as her eyes wander the decrepit structure, trying to piece it all together and gather her resolve while her thoughts race at a mile a minute. “Can you take me to her?” she asks softly, sitting up straight and wiping her eyes for the last time.
I nod, feeling a villainous victory, and stand first, holding my hand out to help her up. Surprisingly, she takes it and lets me help her rise from the ground, obviously trusting me enough to touch the darkness she’s refused toaccompany herself with. Walking a little in front of her, I lead her to the car—opening my passenger side door and letting her get in before I shut it and seal her fate. I take one last look at the hell house, vowing to have it torn down the first chance I get, and hop into the driver’s seat.
The moment my phone connects to the car, a text pops up from Zeke.
We’re at the Attic in the training area. She said she wanted to hit something, and that if I didn’t want it to be me, then I’d better take her.
Chuckling to myself, I put the car in reverse and back out, feeling the anticipation of the evening creeping up my neck.
The ride to the Attic was quiet, except for details of Zeke’s birth and adoption. Ashia is going to tell her everything anyway, and I’m sure she just wants to be prepared before they see each other again. I’m honestly not too sure how this is going to play out, but I’m hoping they at least try to talk things out. Getting her here was the first step, and unfortunately past that, there’s nothing else that I can do. The rest needs to be figured out by the two of them, but I’m going to make sure that Serena will at least give her the chance.
I let Serena into the training area from the back, expecting to see Ashia beating into Zeke’s hand, but I’m shocked to see that isn’t the case. I spot her immediately—sitting against the far wall with Daisy lying next to her. She still has her working vest on, so I assume Darnell just brought her back from her daily activities. The dog’s head is where it has been since they joined us, in her lap nuzzling into her stomach, and Ashia is leaning against the wall, petting away at her softly.
Her eyes almost immediately find mine, obviously sensing me near—having the same effect on her that she does on me, but I can see the shock in her features the moment her gaze moves to Serena. She freezes, almost like she saw a ghost and doesn’t believe she’s real, but then she gently moves Daisy and stands up—looking like she wants to break out in a sprint in our direction.
For a split moment, I think I’ll have to push Serena in her direction, but she takes a large, confident step instead, striding across the room to Ashia like she was just as desperate to see her.
Just when I think they’ll keep going, Ashia comes to a halt and grits her teeth, looking at Serena like she has a thousand things to say and is trying to choose. Serena stops as well, but shockingly, her stance is less tense. After a few breaths, and the tension between them settles, Ashia is the first to speak.
“I know I did something you don’t agree with…” her voice cracks, and her bottom lip quivers a little, but she bites it for a split second, forcing it to stop. “But I deserved better than that,” she forces out.
They continue to stare at each other, like a showdown that only they recognize. A million words are silently moving between them, and while I’m not sure even God himself could comprehend their connection, it’s clear they both do. This moment is comparable to a set to twins, or some type of twisted, psychic connection, and a part of me wishes I could understand it myself. Serena’s shoulders finally slump, and she releases a sigh that this time, thankfully, is void of any hostile energy.
“I know…” she replies softly, and I assume that acknowledgment was all Ashia needed. I know she’s been dying and begging for a chance to have Serena in front of her again, but I’m damn proud of those few words before my woman breaks. Serena may deserve more confrontations than that, and she might get them eventually, but that tiny standoff is a huge milestone for Ashia, and I’m damn proud of her for it.
With one first small step from Serena, they both start to move towards each other again. The moment they get close enough, they throw their arms around each other and squeeze, both instantly crying and clinging like they’ll never let go again. A sob escapes Serena’s mouth, and I can see her grip strengthen around Ashia’s torso.
“I’m sorry…” she mumbles, barely loud enough for me to hear it, but it’s like an announcement to Ashia, and her hold tightens as well. After a brief moment, Ashia lifts her head to look up at me, and I can’t help but grin at the gratitude on her face, as if all of her problems have vanished with this one hug.
She mouths ‘thank you’ and the look on her face is enough to make my chest flutter. I mouth an ‘I love you’back to her before I make my way across the training area and over to Zeke, then I turn back and look at them. Just in that small amount of time, the girls have sat back down on the floor, with Daisy right back on Ashia’s lap, and they’re talking away, gesturing with their hands and looks of disbelief on their faces.
Zeke nudges me with his shoulder and looks over to them.
“You’re a good man, D.” I just shake my head and continue to watch from afar as some of the tension finally leaves her body. A wave of relief crashes over me with every swipe of their hands, and while Zeke’s statement might be the farthest thing of the truth, seeing the relief and rejuvenation on her face tells me one thing. I may not be a good man, but I certainly am for her.
Chapter twenty
Ashia
Four Days Later
The rumble of the bike quakes beneath me, but I’ve become so used to the notion since my first time riding on it that it doesn’t faze me much anymore. The afternoon sun beats down on us, and if it wasn’t for the air whipping past us, I’m sure it would be far too hot out for my liking. Being late June now, the summer heat is way too much for me, but when Damien said he was taking me on a relaxing drive through the mountains, I couldn’t resist. Since the city is settled in a bowl of mountains, there were plenty of routes to choose from, and of course he somehow picked the best one. There weren’t many other cars or heavy traffic to get in the way, and the shade provided by the surrounding trees was very calming.
This little reprieve from the recent stress was much needed, and it was nice to feel our troubles fade away with the wind. Every turn we tucked around and each dip that made my stomach woosh made the past few weeks a little more bearable, and some room to breathe with just the two of us was peaceful. I’m sad that it has to end, but I know that Damien might have to go back out later tonight. Our little moments of tranquility never seem to last long, but they mean more to me than he knows. Especially after the past couple of weeks.
Serena and I had a long talk that evening at The Attic. It probably lasted about four hours before Damien finally insisted we go home, but it was a good four hours. We both got a lot off our chests, and while it was much needed, it was draining. She admitted that being around Damien, and what this organization brings was a lot for her to process. That she’s been trying really hard to just go with the flow for my sake, since she was dragged into this atmosphere so abruptly, but didn’t really know how she felt about it, and I understand that completely.
I had weeks with Damien before I had to witness the violence that follows him, and her first real interaction with him ended in a car chase and practically left her under house arrest until I was poisoned. She didn’t really understand my feelings about the poisoning either, and needed to know how I was just sookaywith everything.
Which is when I admitted to her what I realized while she was gone. That I’m not really okay with it, but that I was processing. Serena and I have two very different outlooks on life, and I explained to her that while yes, it was horrible, and I’m having a hard time recovering from it, that I saw it in a different light than she did. She didn’t understand that I woke up with the man I love next to me, and that for the first time in my life I didn’t feel alone. That while something horrible did happen, something better came out of it, and I think her hearing that I wasn’t just sliding by completely unscathed helped her understand better.
While we’re not back to a hundred percent, we’re getting there. I understand that she needs a little space from the chaos, and she recognizes that this world is more than just deranged psychopaths and murder. We both swore to be more open with one another, and she promised not to just ghost me again when she’s feeling overwhelmed. She seemed the most relieved when I promised her that no matter what happens, and no matter how much I love Damien, that her and I were a packaged deal and I’ve made that very clear in me and my fiancé’s relationship. Her ‘give’ into our healing was that she swore to give Damien more of a chance, because even though she reluctantly admitted to it, she confessed that she does see how much he loves and cares for me. That while his world may be the polar opposite of hers, their little spat actually helped her feel more comfortable around him, and those are words I never thought I would hear from her.
Now that it’s all said and progressing, I need to push it away. There’s only about another twenty minutes of our drive, and I don’t need to spend it recollecting. I’ve done that enough the past few days, and this moment is about us. What we need, not everyone and everything else around us.
