Page 73 of Tear Me Down
I feel her hand slip into mine on the middle console of our rental car, and I look over to gaze into her beautiful amber eyes. They speak volumes, shining through even the darkest of times and screaming how much she loves me. With every glance, I can feel her endearment for me, and I know that I love her just a little bit more.
We stay like that for the rest of the drive—quiet and serene, no phones buzzing, screaming, or gunfire. Just the roar of the engine and scenery passing us by. Eventually we drive over a single bridge leading to the cabin, and her eyes widen ever so slightly, clearly enjoying the view, and in no time after that, we’re pulling up to the cabin. Her face lights up, and the moment we park, she’s nearly flying out of the car.
I grab our bags and quickly follow, unlocking the front door and admiring how her jaw immediately drops at the sight in front of her—the scene warming my chest. The cabin is small, but the view is breath taking. Well, in my opinion, that’s because she’s now standing in it, but there’s a straight shot view of the patio, leading down to the dock and overlooking the lake. The water is a beautiful blue, and it reflects the tree line almost perfectly with it’s clean natural state. To the left of the front door is the living area, the floor now riddled with blankets and pillows lying in front of the sofa and chairs. Black rose petals are spread sparingly across and surround the basket of theater snacks.
Her intoxicating, soft smile breaks across her features and I can almost feel the stress fade away from her body already. The skin on her cheeks turns pink, and I don’t miss the way her head tilts easily at the sight. It may not be much, but the smallest things have always meant the most to her, and I love that all she needs from me is my continued affection. Material things have never mattered to her, and she’s always taken the ‘it’s the thought that counts’ saying to heart.
We walk further into the cabin and into the bedroom for her to find more petals and the blanket she likes, the black pieces of flower leading further into the room and through another door. She peeps into the bathroom to find the large jacuzzi tub, also filled with petals, candles, and a towel warmer. Anything to keep her comfortable for the next few days as I lull her to a place of serenity. Her peace is mine, and I’m so affected by her that I know my mood will match hers, effectively healing us both simultaneously with this trip.
I put our bags at the foot of the bed before walking up to her and holding her, pressing her back to my chest and inhaling her sweet, warm, vanilla scent. She turns in my hold and presses our bodies together. Her hands make their way to my chest, and she leans against me, looking up at me with a soft smile and big, puppy eyes.
“You didn’t meet with the MC yesterday,” she says softly.
“No, I did, just not all day.” I smirk back at her siren’s smile as her eyes water.
“You are amazing,” she quietly says, practically coming out in a whisper. I reach down and caress her lips with mine as I graze my fingers across her neck and palm her face, pulling her against me and silently begging her not to move. She grips the material of my shirt to keep me close, not wanting to part for even a moment. I pull back only a fraction and cradle her head in my hand.
“What should we do first? Whatever you desire.”
“I kind of want to try out that tub.” She giggles softly and lets her head relax in my grip.
“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do.”
In no time at all, we’re nestled against each other in the warm water with her head on my chest as her legs drape over me. I tenderly drag my fingertips up and down her back, sensually feeling her softness. Her hair is tied back and one of her arms lays across my torso, while my other arm is wrapped around her lower back to grip her hip, keeping her cradled against me. We’re so relaxed, so calm, that nothing matters but us, and that’s how it should be. There doesn’t need to be any words or something to break the silence. We’ve always coexisted so effortlessly that it’s hard to imagine we’ve ever lived a day without the knowledge of one another.
After a few minutes, her hold on me relaxes and her breathing turns shallow as she melts against me. I can feel the flutter of her eyelashes against my cheek, and I can tell she’s starting to doze off. She knows that I would never let her drown, but I’m conflicted by her drowsiness. I could put it off as she’s just so relaxed that she can’t help it, and that might be true, but that aching piece of my heart knows it’s her fatigue as well, and I just can’t release the hold that thought has on me.
“You have a bad habit of falling asleep in bathtubs,” I jokingly whisper, and she giggles in exhaustion, clearly coming back from her drift to sleep.
“I do, don’t I?” She chuckles again and wipes her eyes before wrapping her arm back around me. “It’s not my fault you're so comfortable.” I rake my fingers over her scalp, and I feel a cold wave washing over me again. This is just another display of her physical turmoil—another tell of what I’m doing to her.
“Are you…” I hesitate, never thinking I would have to ask this. “Happy? With me?” She looks up at me with furrowed brows, and I can instantly see how my question twists something inside of her.
“I'm the happiest I’ve ever been. You make meveryhappy.” She shakes her head a little, as if she really doesn’t understand how I could possibly think otherwise. “Why would you wonder that?”
I hesitate, not wanting to upset her or worry her with my insecurities, but I know that I can’t hide anything from her. Our ability to see through each other so clearly is a blessing and a curse, and right now is just one of those moments where it’s best to play it down. She rests her head against me again and buries her face in the space between my head and shoulder, snuggling against me as if she knows that’s what I need.
“You're so tired, baby…” I rub up and down her shoulder again, itching to feel her in every way possible.
“Not because of you.”
“I should be the only thing making you tired,” I joke in a sultry tone, and she laughs, lifting my spirits a little and breeding a grin on my face.
“Oh, don’t worry. You exhaust me in the best of ways.” She simply kisses my jaw and then lays her head back down. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. There’s a lot going on, but I think we’ve done a good job of handling it.”
I do. It’s because of all the bullshit I’ve put you through the past couple of months…
“I'm sure these next few days will help a lot. Thank you for this. It means everything to me,” she says, melting my heart. I kiss her forehead and adjust her position on top of me, one leg on each side of my hips as she straddles me.
“I know it does, baby, and I hope it helps.” I run my hands up and down her sides as she gently scratches my neck, and she stares at me again with such conviction that not even a stranger would doubt her intentions.
“I know we’ve dealt with a lot lately, but I wouldn’t change anything. Every moment with you is worth it,” she says softly, those words spilling from her lips like a prayer. I just stare at her, because I know she means every word, and then I watch as her face softens into one of concern. “You seem tired too, Damien, I know you haven’t been sleeping well.” Of course, she noticed. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions from her, and it’s not that I wanted to, necessarily, but we’ve had to worry about so much. I didn’t want her to be concerned about me as well.
“I'm fine, baby girl. I don’t want you worrying about me. You're right, this trip will help us a lot.” I reach up and kiss her as she presses against me and runs her fingers through my hair, clinging to me in the sweetest way. My hands move to her back, one reaching up to grasp the base of her neck, and the other reaching down and wrapping around her waist. The horrid thoughts of losing this feeling, of losing her, fly through my mind in a violent swipe, almostmaking me shudder. I faintly pull back and kiss the tip of her nose before I take a deep breath. “I'm worried about you, Ashia. It’s been weeks. You shouldn’t still be feeling like this.” She nestles her forehead against mine, our noses gently caressing one another as she nods, seemingly agreeing with me.
“If relaxing the next few days doesn’t help, we’ll talk about being seen when we get back home. Okay?” she bargains, and I nod my head—pulling her close to me to seal her deal. “I don’t want you to worry about me, baby. You're already so stressed, and you have so much on your plate.” I pull back again and cup her face in my hand, forcing her to stare into my eyes and take me seriously.
“You are the only thing that matters to me. Don’t tell me not to worry,” I declare with a tone that leaves no room for argument. She silently agrees, and I decide to drop it for now, giving her the chance for this agreement to play out. “Let’s go watch a movie, we can watch or nap. Up to you.” I kiss her again before helping her stand and wrapping a warm towel around her body.
