Page 76 of Tear Me Down
“I have been beaten, mutilated, raped, wished for Death and touched his hand, not once buttwice, andnothinghas had me more terrified than the thoughtof losing you. I love you more than anything on this planet.” He closes his eyes, trying to contain himself at my words. “You were made for me! We were made for each other. You didn’tmakeme fall in love with you. You didn’t hold a gun to my head, chain me to a basement, or lock me in a bedroom for days until a delusion took over. I fell head over heels for you, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I would endure being poisoned every day for the rest of my life if that meant that when I woke, you’d still be there.”
He opens his eyes again and swallows harshly, like he wants to speak but is afraid of a sob escaping instead. So, I continue, making damn sure that he hears every word coming out of my mouth.
“I love it when you snore, I love that arch in your eyebrow when you're so fucking irritated you wish you could put a knife in your ear, and for God’s sake, I even love the look on your face as you gut a man! You reminded me how strong I am, and you gave me every ounce of power that I have back in my life. So, you know how I'm going to fucking use it? If you leave me, Damien, you'll have to kill me, because I will fucking stalk you until the end of your days! I will murder any woman who tries to touch what’smine. I will corner you in a bar and jack you off in front of hundreds of people just so I can remind you who the fuck you are!” I poke his chest, trying to rile him up and get any reaction other than this heartbreaking silence from him. “You have nothing to be afraid of, especially losing me, because you are Damien fucking Hartley, and don’t you ever forget that.”
His jaw tightens and his neck goes taut, clearly still trying to hold back, but struggling.
“You are my peace, but you're also my God of War, and I'll tear down every wall in hell to find you. The only way you’re escaping me is if someone pries you from my cold, dead hands! You'remine, and you don’t get a choice!” I release a harsh breath as I lift up on my toes, placing my face only an inch or two from his, staring my dark God in the eyes and promising him equality. “So, you want to leave me?” He pinches his eyebrows together and stares into my eyes as he fights back more tears, while mine fall freely down my face. “Pack your fucking bags and go, but I promise you, you'll be seeing meverysoon.”
I turn to walk away, and he snaps. His hand quickly snatches my jaw, forcefully spinning me back around to him, and crashing his lips into mine in a fiery battle. The tension and energy around us explodes, bursting outward and filling the entire space with the fire radiating from us. He forces his tongue into my mouth, and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him as close as physically possible. I feel as his arm snakes around my waist, and he lifts me like I weigh nothing—carrying me like a feather just before he lunges forward, slamming us into the wall. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist, in barely enough time for him to pull out his cock and ram his way home deep inside me, making me cry out.
“Damien!”
“No. Now you're going to hear me out, and you better listen good, little wolf.” He pulls out and thrusts again harshly, hitting that deep spot inside me with a euphoric force. Pain and pleasure collide in a perfect explosion, sendinga jolt through my entire body. “I don’twantto leave you. You are my everything, you know better than that.” More tears come to my eyes as he thrusts again, his pain, need, and love all intertwined with his movements. “You’re damn right I told you to run! I’d rather die and wither away inside than have something happen to you!” Another thrust. “Ican’tleave you. You are every atom that makes up my being. I’ve told you, I'mnota good man. A good man would leave you and be sure he never walked in the same state as you again after what I’ve put you through.”
Another drive inside me has me clinging to him, digging my nails into his shoulders and holding on for dear life. I hate that he feels this way, that he feels so guilty for everything that’s happened that he’s literally crumbling in front of me. The need to latch onto him and never leg go is unrelenting, and I find myself tighten my grip on him—silently telling him I’m listening and not going anywhere.
“I'mnota good man,” he repeats, leaving himself buried deep inside me as he continues. “I love you too much, and it’s so consuming that I can’t let you walk five steps away from me without literally feeling my heart break. I'msoterrible that Iwillhave you as my wife and the mother of my children, and I'll slaughter anyone who dares to get in the way. Fuck the consequences.” He runs a hand over my cheek, wiping the tears away. “I am aterribleman, and I'm allowed to feel scared and guilty about it for the first time in my life, because I do love you, too much toeverlet you go. You make me a better man, but not near enough to even think of pushing you away.” He moves his forehead to press up against mine, and I lay a gentle kiss on the side of his face—hoping more than anything that the tiny show of affection will seal at least one of the cracks in his heart. “I couldneverleave you…but I couldn’t blame you if you left me…” His voice finally cracks, destroying my heart along with it.
“Damien, I will never leave you. You are ingrained into every fiber of me. Can't you see that by now?” I run my hand through his hair as he kisses my forehead, finally releasing the emotions he’s held back for so long. He nods modestly and takes a deep breath as he tries to compose himself.
“I’ve only ever felt scared and guilty once before, when Emma died. I was terrified.” He takes a deep breath. “I didn’t think my life could move on. She was literally the other half of me, thebetterhalf of me, and then she was just gone.” I wipe a tear from his face, only to have to swipe again as another one falls. “Then the guilt came, because I should have noticed. I should’ve known something was wrong with her, but I didn’t, and within a week she was gone. I swore at her funeral that I would push those feelings down and never bring them back up, but then I met you, and everything became so clear. Everything I wanted was right there, and then I turned around… The emptiness I felt was unlike anything else… It was worse than Emma… So much worse…”
I put both of my hands on the side of his face and wipe more water away as I run the pads of my thumbs over his cheeks and jaw—urging him to continue.
“I know you're okay. I see you standing here, and I hear the enchanting words coming out of your beautiful mouth, but that emptiness just hasn’t left yet, and every time you get sick that feeling comes back…because it’s my fault…” I nudge the side of my face to his and I feel the new mixture of our tears slide against each other.
“Damien…” I try to reassure him, remind him that it’s not his fault, but he stops me before I can, pushing into me a little more and stilling again to remind me that it’s still his turn to speak.
“It is… I should take you to the hospital and tell them not to release you until they’ve run every test imaginable… Then once they do, and they say you're fine, Ishouldleave without you… And I'm shit because I can’t do that. I'm not good enough to let you go, to protect you the way I should… Ishouldtake you somewhere so far away from me and this bullshit that you have no idea how to get back… But I won’t, even though it would be better for you, I just can’t… The thought alone of not having you makes me want to put a fucking bullet in my brain… I won't fail you again, I swear.”
“You have not failed me, Damien. There is nothing that you could do to make me feel that way. You are everything to me. I have more than I could have ever imagined because of you. You've taught me so much, and let me flourish in a way that I didn’t know was possible for me. I mean, I just promised to stalk you for the rest of our lives, could you have imagined that from me three months ago?”
He finally lets a small, tear-filled chuckle out.
“You better have meant it, too.”
“Of course, I did.”
He finally kisses me again, and this time, it seems his normal confidence has returned. Not that this little spat solved everything, but now it’s at least out and in the open, and we can help each other navigate through the storm exactly how the other needs it.
“I'll get through this, I just…”
“Wewill get through this,” I interrupt him. “We don't hide things from each other, remember? And you don’t feel these things alone, that’s what a marriage is. We’re here for each other. I choose you. That means I choose whatever this life has to throw at us. Good, bad, or otherwise. Youwillget through this, and I'm going to help you. Anything you feel, I'll feel it with you. I love you so much that there is not a single piece of me that doesn’t live for you. I don’t know how I survived that day, but what I do know is that I needed more of you, of us, and nothing was going to keep me from having that. We needed more time, and I wasn’t giving that up.”
I kiss him again with enough need and desire to fuel us both, and I start to move against him, moaning lightly against his lips and savoring him like a last meal.
“So, you can’t sleep? Because you're angry? You're afraid? You feel guilty?” I kiss him again as a growl emits from deep in his throat, just before I pull back again. “You take it out on me, not yourself. Because I will be your wife and the mother of your kids, but more importantly, I am your other half,and what you feel, I feel.” I push him away, and he removes himself from me as I drop down to my knees.
“What are you doing?”
“Showing you just how alive I am with you. You’re going to come on me and you're going to come in me until I know you're exhausted enough to sleep.” He grabs me by the jaw again and lifts me up back to my feet, using that brute dominance I’ve come to love so much.
“I'm not wasting a drop of cum in that gorgeous mouth. Every ounce is going in that perfect cunt.” He uses his grip on my jaw to spin us around, immediately pushing me back against the counter and using his free hand under my knee to lift me up. I lay back, and the cool sting of the counter shoots down my spine, only to be replaced by his heat as he slams inside me again. He rears back and thrusts again almost instantly, setting a harsh and punishing pace that immediately has me moaning in pleasure. Those large, strong hands grip my hips in a bruising hold, promising that I’ll be marked in every way imaginable before we return home tomorrow.
Each thrust fills me more and more as the movement shifts the weight of my breasts on my chest, painfully shifting them up and down, and the ache adds to the pleasure already threatening to build. Sensing my enjoyment, he rears back and brings his hand down to swipe across the side of my breast, breeding a delicious sting right through my nipple and deep into my chest. He then grasps my soft flesh in his hand and kneads it tenderly, a stark contradiction to his ruthless pounding.
I jolt as he removes himself, only to fill the void with his mouth. His expert tongue immediately dives into me, working my core and clit in a perfect pattern. I grind myself against him and claw his shoulders as I wrap my legs around his head, trying to pull him deeper. He uses his hands to firmly grasp the inside of my thighs and push them apart, shooting painful pleasure straight back up to my vagina. His tough grip shoves them down and back as he places a forceful bite to my clit, letting the sting settle before licking the pain away. He does this over and over again, until I feel the climb building in my stomach, and then he suddenly retreats—biting down harshly on the soft skin just on the inside of my leg. He stands abruptly and thrusts inside me again, resuming his previous pace instantly.
