Page 33 of From Ice to Home
“Don’t you think it’s time we remedy that?” I ask, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.
“I think it’s time to remedy a whole bunch of things.” He sighs.
I sling an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. His frame may have filled out over the years, nearly matching mine now, but he’ll always be my little brother.
“I’m with you on that one, little bro,” I say, my voice quiet but certain.
8
HANNAH
The roar of Lucas’s truck fades into the distance, leaving nothing but the soft rustle of trees in its wake. Staring at the empty stretch of road where his taillights disappeared, the sinking weight in my chest threatens to pull me under. My stomach churns, replaying the look on his face as he climbed into his truck.
Hurt, confusion, and a resignation I never thought I’d see.
The conversation had spiraled so far out of control, I couldn’t even grasp what I’d hoped to say. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet that’s exactly what I did. The truth is, Lucas doesn’t deserve this. He deserves to be treated better.
I wipe a tear from my cheek and glance back toward the house, where Essie’s face had been in the window only minutes ago. Throughout our entire conversation I was hyper aware of the fact that my parents were close and that Essie might overhear something. Growing up she’s always had a superpower when it comes to eavesdropping. I wanted to get this over with and get Lucas out of here as fast as possible.
Well, you did that, Hannah. Bravo.
I didn’t expect to see him. Thinking about it now, Ishould’ve known he’d find me. But I’ve been in avoidance mode this entire week. I’ve been hiding away…from Lucas, from God, from myself too.
He came all the way to Georgetown to talk to me, straight after his game. He didn’t care about the distance, about the uncertainty. He came because he believed in us. Even after all these years, even after the impulsive mistake we made in Vegas he feels like there’s something here.
You feel the same, Hannah.
I panicked.
Seeing him here, the concern on my parents’ faces, imagining what they’d think when they learned the truth…it was all too much. And instead of leaning into Lucas, I pushed him away, just like I did five years ago. He’ll be here for a day and then he’ll go back to his life.
The life I’ve always wanted him to have. The life that doesn’t include me.
A hand rests lightly on my shoulder, startling me. I turn to find my father looking down at me, his eyes sad as he takes me in.
“Dad,” I say, my voice breaking as I quickly wipe the tears from my face. “I’m sorry about all that. I’ll go get cleaned up and then we can go.”
He studies me for a long time, his gaze soft but full of concern.
“Hannah,” he says gently, causing something to crack inside of me.
Tears and sobs suddenly spill from me, the ache in my heart that I’ve been holding back this entire week finally too much to bear. My dad pulls me into his chest, hugging me tightly as I let all of it out.
The shame, the guilt, the regret.
Father, please help me. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix this. Why is this all such a big mess? How could thishappen?
My dad finally pulls back, his hands firmly on my shoulders. “We don’t have to figure this out now. Let’s go inside.”
As we step onto the porch, he calls out for my mom. Her footsteps echo down the hall, and the moment she sees me, she wraps me in her arms.
“Shh,” she whispers into my hair. “It’ll be okay.”
“Mark…” she starts, somehow conveying an entire conversation in just his name.
My dad hums in agreement. “I’m going to make a call and then I have to go,” my dad’s voice steady but strained. “Hannah, look at me, please?”
I turn toward him, not sure what he wants to see. Right now, I don’t care if he sees everything—every single lie and worry clearly etched onto my face. It all feels too heavy right now.
