Page 83 of From Ice to Home
“You have people over?” I ask, my brow furrowing.
“Yeah. Since I couldn’t be there, Avah said she’d watch the first two games with me.”
My gaze shifts to EJ, still curled up with his pillow. His sister has been a constant presence for our team this past year, and knowing she’s there with Hannah makes something settle inside me. I don’t want her to feel alone, or to feel like she wants to run back to her old life…the one without me in it.
“I’m glad you two get along, Sanders,” I say, sitting up. “It makes this whole thing feel a bit better.”
“You shouldn’t be so worried about me, Luke,” she says. “I promise I’m fine.”
EJ’s alarm blares on the nightstand. He groans and shifts, barely cracking an eye open. Getting up, I make my way to his phone and hit snooze. He usually builds in enough time to snooze at least five times.
“Nap time’s over,” I say, knowing the game is drawing closer and I don’t feel much better.
“Are you ready for tonight?” she asks. “Do you have your verse?”
I’m not sure if I’m ready for the game. My mind hasn’t been this scrambled in a long time and I’m hoping that it’ll clear the moment I step onto the ice.
“I have it,” I answer the question I can. “Already packed with the rest of my gear. What made you choose this verse?”
She packed two verses, clearly marked, one for each game. For tonight’s game it’s Hebrews 13:6.
“So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’”
“Because it’s all you need moving forward, Luke. As long as you have Him, nothing else matters,” she says and I let her words settle over me. “I’ll be praying for you tonight, and I can’t wait for you to get back.”
Her words are steady and sure, the way they always are when she talks about God or his Word. Hannah might sometimes doubt herself, but she never doubts God. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always loved her. Her faith is strong and it makes her strong in difficult times.
Even in the years we weren’t together, it always remained. Every city, every game…it’s always been Hannah. I didn’t realize how much I missed her, missed her words of encouragement, her words of faith, until she walked back into my life.
“I’ll call you after, okay?”
“Okay,” she says, her voice soft. “Goodbye, Luke.”
I listen for a few seconds as the line goes dead. I almost didn’t make it the first time Hannah walked away from me, and now the thought of losing her is something I can’t even consider.
And yet, the fear of losing her again presses harder than anything I’ll face on the ice.
19
HANNAH
‘They’re not even really married. Those Vegas weddings are fake.’
‘It’s happy days girls. No ring. No wife.’
‘Lucas Walker is back on the market.’
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. Looking at the posts and comments on social media is absolutely horrifying, not to mention the TikTok videos. And I have nobody to blame but myself. I’m the one who took my ring off…and then attended Lucas’s first hockey game without wearing it. Not to mention the post-game dinner and the interview. I should’ve known better.
Now Lucas has to deal with this too while he has to focus on the final round of the playoffs. And I know it’s weighing on him. I could hear it in his voice tonight. He never mentioned anything to me before, and I know it’s because he wants to give me the space to figure things out. That’s just the type of man Lucas is. But now, he’s been pushed into a corner.
And I hate that it’s my fault.
It’s not something I want to discuss over the phone.Especially when I’m not sure why I haven’t had the guts to go upstairs to fetch my ring and justwear it.
Hopefully I’ve eased his mind enough for him to focus on the game and nothing else.
“I can see why this would upset you,” Avah says, walking back into the living room with two pints of ice-cream. She’s in black tights and a yellow SHL hoodie, her blonde hair braided loosely. The pizza box is still on the coffee table, its contents barely touched, even if it’s exactly what I wanted. When the notifications started to come through, telling me about all the commotion on social media, I desperately needed something stronger than pizza.
