Page 2 of Scarred in Silence
“And do what? Drown in it? You can’t keep running away, Astra. Your life isn’t as bad as you think it is.” She rolls her eyes.
Shivers course through me as I stand, my wet clothes clinging to my tiny body.
“I got a call from your principal. She said you got into a fight.”
My body tenses, knowing she is going to punish me. She closes the distance between us. Her presence is darkness wrapped in velvet. She is a viper, waiting to strike.
She grabs my cheeks, pinching them together with her deep red nails as if she were the Devil’s assistant.
“Is that true?” Her tone is dripping with threat.
I shake, nodding my head slowly. If I lie, it just makes it worse.
She releases my cheek, and her hand slaps across my hollow cheek, causing my head to snap to the side. I’ve gotten good at relaxing when she hits me. It makes it hurt less.
“Why can’t you be more like your sister? At least we have one child who knows right from wrong.” She turns away from me to return to her seat.
Anger boils in my veins, and my hands tighten into fists at my sides.
“She was bullying me,” my words flow out of my mouth before I can stop them.
“Go to your room,” my father demands.
“Did you hear me?” My voice cracks on the final word.
“GO!”
Why can’t they hear me? Why don’t they listen to me?
Tears fill my eyes as I suppress the emotions building up inside of me. I feel like a teakettle, about to scream, but I don’t. I can’t. No matter what I do, they will never hear me.
I turn and bolt to my room, tracking water throughout my mother’s prestigious home. She doesn’t care about me. She never has, and never will.
Islam my door shut and run to my closet. I slip inside the cool, dark space and grab my blanket that lies on the floor. I wrap myself in the warm fleece and close the closet door, enveloping me in darkness.
My head falls back onto the wall, and I breathe in the silence. Maybe one day I can run away for good. Maybe one day, I won’t have to be compared to my perfect sister.
Perhaps one day—I will be free.
1
Astra
2 Months After Evelyn’s Wedding
I don’t even remember taking the cap off. The cold bite of the metal pierces my pale skin—the feeling of the needle gliding under my skin is smooth. Effortless.
My hands move with the precision of a surgeon, as if someone else is piloting them. Maybe they are. Perhaps I’ve been gone for a long time.
The rush comes in quickly, thickening in my veins as they pulse beneath my flesh. Blurring everything I don’t want to remember. My mind fights the rush as Evelyn and Amara flash into my thoughts. Why did I abandon Evelyn? Why did Dante take Amara from me?
My eyelids are heavy as I let the sweet medicine soothe me. The warmth travels through my core, as numbness overcomes me. I’m drifting. Weightless. Drowning in silence. I’m underwater, but I still hear Lucien yelling at me. Telling me to stop.
He can never change me. I’ll never change for him.
The trailer smells of mildew and mold. The sounds of “Hey You” by Pink Floyd filter through the hollow walls, leaving me in a trance. My vision tunnels as I stare into the brown, stained carpet. No one can find me here. I’m safe.
Everything fades from color to black and white. Then… everything is black.
