Page 58 of Fire Island
The water sloshes, and I glance over to find Cal gone. I fix my focus back to the sky, not bothered he’s decided to do something else. Inhaling, I relax, letting the ripples lap at my side, arms, legs, ribs, and neck. My hair floats out around me.
This is as close to heaven as a girl can manage by herself.
A head rises to my left, water running from his hair, over his face and his cheeky-as-shit grin.
“Ah! Shit.” I roll and sink, spluttering on the liquid that finds its way into my lungs when I forget to hold my breath. Warm hands haul me to the surface, and I gasp. Mouth open and hair curtaining my face like some swamp monster, I slap his shoulder. “You ass!”
He chuckles, not letting me go.
I swipe the hair from my face and the water from my eyes. Cal’s laughter fades as he realizes we are barely inches apart.
I could so easily lean in, crash my mouth to his.
Devour this gorgeous man, palm his face with my hands. Hold him until one of us breaks away, breathless.
Instead, I simply float in the water.
The absence of our love is an anchor weighing between us, tied off at both our hearts. Neither of us dares to move, lest we both sink to the dark depths below.
“Can I touch you?” he whispers. “To see if anything happens.”
“I—you’re already touching me.”
His hands adjust on my waist, and to my surprise, he pulls me closer. With only an inch between us, he says, “Your face, your lips. To see for myself.”
I nod, and my breath stalls out when his hand rises and his knuckles brush over my jaw. I want to roll my head into his embrace. To close my eyes and let my instincts take over, like they’ve done so many times with this man.
“Eve.” My name is gravel.
My lips part as my chest caves under my choppy breaths. I can’t take my gaze from his as it falls to my mouth. His thumb sweeps over my bottom lip, and I swear his eyes dull to something close to navy. My legs wrap around his waist automatically. I still, waiting for him to object.
He doesn’t, and I plant my hands on his shoulders.
He cups my face in his hands, eyes searching my own as he brushes his lips over mine. “What were we?”
My throat closes over.
I want so badly to fill in every blank he’s suffering through. To give him the relief he so desperately needs. But if I do, I will tarnish or twist the memories his mind has stored and protected so well.
I don’t answer, and his hands fall from my face.
“They are worth the wait,” I whisper, catching his hands before they can dip below the water. “I can promise you that.”
He forces a smile, but I can almost taste his disappointment. I know that feeling all too well. I’m dying here, too, for the moment we get back what we lost.
But I refuse to ruin our chance at something incredible for a moment of curious relief.
Cal wades toward the waterfall, and I follow. He stands now where the water must be shallower and runs his hands through his hair as the fall pours over him.
I hang back, watching this god of a man in action. Something so simple, yet so damn overwhelming.
He walks from the water toward the edge, not coming back. I swim to the waterfall and let it pound its heavenly way over my shoulders. A girl could absolutely get used to this.
An hour later, we break through the tree line, almost home.
Cal tried to make small talk on the way back, but I was quiet. I don’t trust myself to not screw this up. The last thing he needs is more drama to deal with. With the lamp and losing three years and all. Enough is enough for one man. Besides, it’s nice being in his company. It’s what I longed for in those darkest moments. The bargains I made, every one included him.
And they came good, so there is no way in hell I’m ruining this. For Cal.
