Page 79 of Fire Island
I press a palm over his heart and reach up on my tip toes. “I?—”
“You . . .”
I expel a nervous laugh.
The one thing I regretted most when I thought I would never see this incredible man again was that I never told him how I feel. So now, in the sunshine and the swell, utterly enraptured, I brush my lips past his as I pull his head down a fraction and say, “I love you, Cal. I have for months. When I thought I would never have the chance to tell you. That I left without telling you... It broke me.”
“Sweet gir?—”
“No, I need you to know how I feel, especially now.”
Now his hands are cupping my face, his eyes intensifying with earnest as he shakes his head. “Evie, you’ve been part of me since the day you tossed my journal at my feet. I was gone before I even stood a chance. I told you—you and me, we’re nonnegotiable. No delusional stalker guy or ridiculous dead woman are going to tear us apart. Not happening.”
“Nonnegotiable . . .” I echo softly.
“You got it.”
“So, does that mean I can stay? I can turn the little shack into my library-slash-writing room?” I ask, biting my bottom lip, giving the best pleading face I can summon up.
“You can do whatever you like to it. But Evie, if they decommission the lighthouse, we won’t have a reason to stay here.”
I drag his mouth down until it brushes against my lips. “I can think of a good reason to stay tucked away on this little island with the man I love.”
He chuckles and claims my mouth, hungrier than I expected.
Breathless, I break away. “Where would you go? I mean, where wouldwego?”
“Now you’re getting the nonnegotiable part.”
I caress his jaw, studying his expression. “We could go anywhere.”
“And what if we can’t?” His face turns serious. “What if this island and lighthouse are all we ever have?”
“Then you will polish your lamp, and I will write my books, and when we are not busy doing that, we’ll make beautiful, beautiful babies.”
His mouth gapes.
I have no idea where that came from. I mean, Joshua and I talked about the idea of it before we got married. I’ve always wanted kids, but the words slipped out like they were the nextnatural thing for Cal and me. And I realize that was a mistake when he closes his mouth without a word.
“Sorry, I?—”
“Please don’t be sorry, you just took me by surprise. I neve?—”
“We don’t have to talk about it, especially now,” I add quickly. I need to get the hell out of the water. I can’t believe I said that. After finding out about Ava and Reese, that’s possibly the worst thing I could have said. God, I hate myself right now.
“Evie,” Cal calls after me.
I can’t stop. I break free of the oscillating water and swipe my book up as I march for the house. I am the world’s biggest idiot. To think?—
A rough hand grips my arm, and I spin back to face a flustered Cal. His chest cycles through quick breaths. “Mo nighean... I want all those things for you. I do. And we can talk and plan, when we’ve made it through the current crisis.”
“I’m sorry I said it. I just . . .”
“Besides, we never really had a proper start. I want to do things right.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dinner, movies. Kissing the girl I love on the sidewalk in the rain...”
