Page 118 of Highlanders for the Holidays
“I wish I could tell her that because a good woman deserves her man’s love,” he said. “Though I can’t give her love, I’ll do my damnedest to be the best husband to her that I can.”
With that, he turned his back on her. Lily let the tears slide down her face as she watched him walk away with long, purposeful strides.
* * *
When Lily opened the door, she found Seanmhair bustling about the cottage, gathering things into a leather bag. The old woman paused to give Lily a scathing look.
Lily was already in a state. She hoped she would not lose the old woman’s friendship over her refusal to wed Roderick.
“Stubborn as an ass,” Seanmhair mumbled loud enough for Lily to hear. “A shame there’s no cure for that.”
Lily was taken aback by Seanmhair’s hurtful words. Though she only understood half of what the old woman spewed, that was more than enough.
“Selfish…inconsiderate…dimwitted….”
Lily went to stand before the old woman. “I’m not those things.”
“Hmmph.” Seanmhair conveyed as much disgust in that Scottish snort as Roderick did. She made a swiping motion with her hand as she said, “Ye tossed away the love of a good man.”
“He doesn’t truly care for me,” Lily said, clenching her fists. “It was all lies.”
“Any fool could see,” Seanmhair said, leaning forward and tapping her finger next to her eye, “my grandson is lovesick for ye.”
“Where are you going?” Lily asked when Seanmhair wrapped a plaid around her shoulders and opened the door. “It will be dark soon.”
“With Roderick,” Seanmhair said, and whistled to her dog.
“You’re taking Beag too?” Lily asked as the dog trotted out.
After Seanmhair slammed the door, Lily sat down hard on the closest stool. Roderick’s and the old woman’s words spun inside her head.
Ye tossed away the love of a good man… And for what? For four walls and some hanging herbs…I’ll be wed with a babe on the way by spring…
She must have sat there, stunned, for a long time because the cottage was now pitch black. She fumbled for the lamp on the table and lit it. Waves of grief struck her as she looked around the cottage. She had been happy during her short time here.
In her mind’s eye, she saw Roderick ducking his head under the low doorframe and sharing a laugh with his grandmother. He was so good to the old woman. With a sharp pain of longing, it struck her that he would make a good and kind father as well.
Unable to bear being alone in the cottage another moment, she grabbed her cloak. As she started to leave, she noticed the candle Seanmhair had set in the window, intending to light it for the Hogmanay night, and she felt compelled to respect the old woman’s wishes. Though Lily would not go far, the candle would help her find the cottage in the darkness.
The path along the cliff was in deep mud from the ceaseless rain. Slipping and sliding, she found herself running down it as if she could outrun her thoughts. When she finally stopped, she stood gasping for air and holding her side as she stared out at the whitecaps that covered the black sea. The crash of the waves far below sounded like a rebuke, telling her she was a fool, again and again.
Lily squeezed her eyes closed, trying to shut out the pain. God help her, what had she done? Seanmhair’s voice filled her head.Ye tossed away the love of a good man.
Suddenly the ground beneath her gave way, and she was falling into the black night.
