Page 130 of Highlanders for the Holidays
She hadn’t seen Connor in over a decade. Of all the children of her clan, he was one of the very few who had ever shown her a moment of kindness. But then he’d been sent away to foster somewhere, and she was left without a friend or ally to her name. Not long after, she’d been all but ostracized.
Straining her ears, she could hear him and Bruanna talking about their wishes. Only minutes before, Onnleigh had made a wish of her own. Though she didn’t have a coin to her name, she had used the only thing of value she owned: a necklace. ’Twas worth nothing to anyone but her. ’Twas the only thing of her mum’s she had left now, besides the clothes she now wore. A long strand of leather with one tiny pink shell affixed to it. Not knowing if the wish would work without a coin, she was mighty glad when she heard Bruanna say,If I want this wish to come true, I must use somethin’ more valuable to me than coin.Mayhap there was a chance her wish might come true after all.
When she heard Connor admit to wanting a wife and child, it nearly stole her breath away.
After they left, she lowered herself so her back was against the ancient, decrepit wall. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she lifted her sleeping babe from the basket and held her close.
A beautiful little girl named Nola, born in mid-August, with little wisps of red hair and big blue eyes. Nothing of the man who sired her was visible in the wee babe’s face. For that, she was mightily grateful.
There had been no yarn to weave blankets, no soft linens with which to make clothes for her daughter. So she had taken her one an only chemise and fashioned several gowns out of it for her daughter. She had cut an old blanket into squares for nappies.
When she had discovered she was carrying Darwud’s babe, she thought her world had come to an end. Out of fear, she hadn’t shared her discovery with her da. Hiding her growing belly had been difficult, but not impossible, for he was too wrapped up in his own miserable life to pay any attention to hers.
Then on a warm night in April, Grueber died in his sleep. Onnleigh shed no tears over the loss, for what was she truly missing? He had never provided for her, had been demanding, mean-spirited and drunk every day she could remember.
Nay, she had no tears to waste for the man who had sired her but never cared one whit about her.
So she dug a hole far from their hut, wrapped him in his filthy sheet, and rolled him down the hill and into his final resting spot. It hadn’t been easy, but why should she expect such when he’d been nothing less than difficult in life?
Naught much changed after his death, for he hadn’t been any help to her while living. Admittedly, things were far more peaceful after he was gone. So much so that she quit dreading the thought of impending motherhood and chose to focus instead on what joy a babe of her own might bring.
A child she could love and cherish, who would love her back. She’d be a patient and kind mother, would give the babe everything in this world she possibly could.
It mattered not that Darwud had sired Nola, mattered not that he didn’t even know of her existence. Nay, the only thing that mattered was all the love Onnleigh had in her heart to give another being. Suddenly, she didn’t feel quite so alone in this world.
Then reality set in, just minutes after giving birth.
She hadn’t a clue what she was doing. She’d never been around a babe before, at least not that she could remember. There was no one to turn to for advice or help. The only things she knew with a certainty were how to love her, feed her and keep her clean.
It had taken days for her milk to come in. She worried her poor Nola would end up starving to death. Blessedly, that did not happen, but still she worried.
The babe seemed to be hungry all the time. Day and night. Onnleigh worried her milk might not be good enough for the babe, didn’t know how soon before she should try giving her little bits of food, such as gruel. Did all babes eat this much?
Were all babes as beautiful as hers? Did they cry like she did? Did they pee as often as she did? Was she too cold? Too hot?
Endless questions and not a soul with whom to ask them.
Weeks passed and Nola grew, but Onnleigh worried it was not by enough. Many a night, she walked the floors, cradling a crying babe and not knowing what on earth she should do for her.
After a time, Onnleigh’s confidence in her abilities to provide for this beautiful, sweet babe began to wane. She finally realized she could not do it. Could not give her anything, not even a decent gown to call her own. They had naught in this world but each other. Soon, she began to realize that love mayhap was not enough.
She’d tried praying, as she remembered her mum had done before she died. But prayer wasn’t working. Her heart grew heavier with each passing day.
With nothing left to do, Onnleigh bundled up her babe and headed to the wishing well. She could remember going there as a little girl, with her mother, to make wishes she could not now recall. The well was not far from her croft, and thankfully, Nola slept on the trek through the woods and over the rise.
She had made her wish.
And only moments later, Connor MacCallen had appeared almost out of nowhere, with his grandminny. Together, she’d heard them make a wish for him.A wife, children, and peace.
She couldn’t give him a wife, and peace was just as impossible.
But she could give him one thing. Something she loved more than her next breath, something she did not in truth want to part with, but she knew there was no other way.
