Page 152 of Highlanders for the Holidays
Done with bringing up old, painful memories, she took in a deep breath. “Enough of talkin’ about what cannae be undone.”
“I want to know ye better, Onnleigh. I want to know everythin’ about ye.” The words were out and there was naught he could do to pull them back. He realized then that, in truth, he didn’t wish to unsay them.
“Me?” she asked with a good measure of disbelief. “Yer daft.”
“Nae, I be nae daft, no matter how often ye call me so. I do wish to ken ye better.”
She laughed derisively. “The last time a man told me that I ended up—” She stopped herself short before she said anything she could not undo.
Connor had a feeling he knew what she was going to say, but left it alone. She would tell him, someday, when she was ready. “Onnleigh, I think ye be a fine young woman.”
She eyed him suspiciously for a moment. Dare she believe him?
“’Tis true lass. I’d never tell ye false.”
When she looked into those bright eyes of his, she saw no deceit, no ulterior motives. That inner voice, the one she hadn’t listened to a year ago when she should have, was eerily quiet. Too fearful to believe just yet that silence was acquiescence, she remained still.
He smiled warmly and took her hands in his. “I ken ye’ve nae had an easy way of things. I ken ye nae be used to anyone bein’ kind or generous. But I need ye to believe in me, to ken what be in me heart.”
Her bright blue eyes were brimming with tears she was trying gallantly to keep at bay.
“When I look at ye, I do nae see a young woman raised poor. I see a verra strong woman with a light inside her so bright ’tis nearly blindin’. I see a beautiful, kind young woman who, if given a chance, could rise above all she has endured and become a fine, fine woman.”
She looked away, not wanting him to see her fear, her doubts, all her worries.
“Onnleigh, I do nae ken how it has happened, these feelin’s I have fer ye. When I first laid eyes upon ye, somethin’ happened to me heart. ’Twas as if ye were someone I’d been waitin’ fer me entire life.” He took in a deep breath, reached out and took her hands in his.
“Onnleigh, I wish to marry ye.”
* * *
He wasn’t tellingher these things in order to convince her to lift her skirts. There was too much sincerity in his voice, too much adoration in his eyes. Still, doubts lingered. Not that tiny voice of warning, but one born of self-doubt, years of feeling unworthy of anyone’s affection or kindness. How could anyone, especially the chief of her clan, possess such feelings toward the likes of her?
“Ye cannae say such things, Connor,” she told him, fighting back the urge to run fast and far and never look back.
“Why? Why can I nae say what be in me heart?”
Swallowing hard, she replied, “Ye need a better woman than me. Ye need someone who kens how to read, write, and cipher. Ye need a woman who kens how to run a keep. I cannae do any of those things. I’d only bring ye shame.”
He scowled at her. “Never say that,” he said firmly. “Ye could never bring me shame. I’d be very proud to call ye wife.”
One errant tear escaped and trailed down her cheek. “Ye say that now, but what of yer clan? Are ye prepared fer them to hate ye fer tossin’ o’er one of yer own fer me?”
He took in a deep, cleansing breath. “Onnleigh, I be nae tossin’ anyone aside. There be no one else I want but ye. And the clan? They be yer clan as well as mine.”
Shaking her head, she had to disagree. “Ye ken what Helen and Margaret think of me. Do ye really believe they be the only two who think that?”
“I dunnae care what anyone thinks. I ken that once they see ye as I see ye, they’ll soon be changin’ their minds. Besides, we already have allies in me brothers, in Bridgett, and even in Louisa. She’s quite fond of ye, ye ken, and that, dear Onnleigh, is nae an easy thing to accomplish.”
With the pads of his thumbs, he brushed tears from her cheeks. “Please, Onnleigh, say ye’ll marry me.”
“I dunnae understand,” she told him through the free-flowing tears.
“Dunnae understand what?” he asked, wiping away more of those tears.
“How could ye have feelin’s fer me?” They had only known each other a short time, in truth, they barely knew each other.
“I dunnae understand it meself; all I ken is what is in me heart. And me heart says ’tis hopeless to deny the feelin’s. I want ye to be me wife.”
