Page 101 of Laird of Steel
Carenza’s revelation explained a lot. Why she wished to avoid Gellir. Why she seemed so sickly. Why her emotions were in turmoil. Why she craved pickled eels.
“Och, what shall I do?” the lady despaired.
Merraid worried her fingers while her mind whirred. “How far along are ye? Two months? Three?”
Carenza shrugged and bit her lip.
Shite. If Carenza didn’t know, she must have swived the man on numerous occasions. No wonder she’d laughed at Merraid’s advice, meant for a virgin. Still, if her condition wasn’t too advanced…
“Perhaps he doesn’t need to find out,” she suggested.
The lady sighed in defeat. “I can’t keep it from him. I have to tell him.”
Merraid wasn’t so sure about that. How would Gellir feel, knowing the bairn wasn’t his? Knowing he might have been tricked into marrying Lady Carenza?
He would undoubtedly forgive her for her indiscretion. After all,he’dtaken lovers erehewas betrothed. And even one afterwards, she reminded herself.
But would he suspect Carenza had been foisted onto him because of her condition? Had her father pushed her into marriage because he knew her secret?
He would be furious to discover he’d been manipulated.
Of course, Gellir would never blame the child. A man of his character would take in any bairn born under his roof. He was a good man. A generous man. He would raise the child as his own.
But in his soul, he would know that his firstborn, the one destined to be laird after him, was not a child born of their love. It would be a reminder that Carenza’s heart once belonged to another. And might still. And that would crush him.
“What if ye bide your time? At least wait till the bairn comes?” she suggested. “Ye wouldn’t be the first bride to give birth early in a marriage. And if the father looks anythin’ like Gellir…?”
She shook her head. “Nay.”
Merraid’s face fell. Of course he didn’t.
“I must tell him,” Carenza repeated, wiping at her tears and speaking with new resolve. “Gellir is a decent, kind, honorable man. I won’t start our marriage off with a lie.”
Ordinarily, Merraid would agree. But if that lie saved Gellir’s feelings…
“Will ye tell him before the weddin’?”
“I can’t. My father didn’t know my condition when he promised me to Gellir. And this alliance is so important to him. Gellir might refuse to marry me. ’Tis his right. But if he does…”
“The alliance will be broken. And your bairn will be born a bastard.”
A sob escaped Carenza. “Aye.”
Merraid didn’t mention that Gellir needed the alliance as much as she did. His bride might be with child, but at least she wasn’t English.
“So ye’ll tell him after the vows are exchanged?”
“Aye, ere we consummate the marriage.”
Merraid frowned. “Ye don’t mean to tell him on his weddin’ night?”
“What else can I do? I won’t give him myself to him—body and soul—knowing there’s a lie between us.”
“But… Ye can’t tell him then. Not on his weddin’ night.” Merraid could think of nothing more tragic.
“I can’t share his bed in good faith if he doesn’t know.”
Merraid had to admire the lady’s integrity. It was damned inconvenient. But she had to admire it.
