Page 91 of Laird of Steel
She had to utter them. Before it was too late.
They came out like an incantation. “Lady Carenza.”
But they changed nothing.
Gellir didn’t shrink in remorse. He didn’t even avert his gaze.
“She doesn’t love me,” he explained.
His words sounded so bleak it made her heart ache.
“She will,” she promised.
“Nay.” His eyes flattened. “Her heart isn’t mine t’ have.”
“Did she tell ye that?” Damn Carenza. She’d promised Merraid that she’d never reveal that to Gellir. If she’d broken her word…
“She didn’t have t’ tell me.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t love her either.”
Merraid blinked. That was hard to imagine. Everyone in the clan loved Carenza. Even the mice. “If ye just give it time—”
“I loveyou,Merraid,” he gushed.
“What?”
There it was. The words he shouldn’t have said.
Everything stopped. Her heart. Her breath. The air.
“I said—”
“I heard what ye said,” she whispered, wishing urgently to silence him. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. He was only caught up in the lust of Beltane.
“I mean it,” he assured her, taking her by the shoulder. “I love you.”
Her heart fluttered in panic. What if, on this magical night, his perilous whispered words drifted on the breeze? What if mischievous faeries carried them aloft? Strengthening them until they found their way into Lady Carenza’s ear? Magnifying them until they echoed over the land?
She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t let careless, drunken murmurs be the cause of pain and heartbreak.
“Ye’re drunk,” she told him. “Ye don’t know what ye’re sayin’.” She cast off his hand and snatched the torch away. “’Twouldn’t be the first time a sotted lad tried to steal a kiss off a lass with those words.” She said it as much to convince herself as to chide him. Because she very badly wanted to kiss him.
“I don’t want a kiss. I swear.”
“Och aye?” She raised a doubtful brow. Then she summoned up a glare. “Ye weren’t hopin’ for a quick Beltane tryst, were ye?”
He frowned. “I may be sotted. But I still have my honor. You know that.”
She supposed she did.
“I jus’ thought y’d want to know the truth,” he said. “After all, we’re friends, aye?”
“Aye.”
“And friends should have no secrets ’tween them.” He nodded. “So I want y’ to know where my heart is.”
Merraid bit her lip. Was it possible? Was his confession more than an impulsive outburst? Not just a lusty knave’s trick designed to get under her skirts?
“Y’ needn’t fret,” he said. “I know m’ place. I’ll do m’ duty. I’ll wed the one I’m told t’ wed. I’ll be a good husband to her. She’ll want for naught. Jewels. Bairns… Mice.” He quirked up a corner of his mouth. “But all the while I’ll know the truth. And I want y’ to know it as well.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Know that I loved you once upon a time, Merraid. Jus’ know that I loved you.”
