Page 154 of Laird of Flint
He wasn’t about to tell her all that. She’d only argue with him. And they didn’t have time. The snow was falling fast now.
So he told her the most important part of the truth. The heart of it.
“The truth is I can’t bear the thought of losing you, Carenza.”
“Losin’ me? Ye’re not goin’ to—”
“If anything happened…” he choked out, shaking his head. “If something went awry… If I lost you… If we lost the bairn…”
“We won’t lose the bairn.”
“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’d rather risk imprisonment than endanger the lives of my loved ones.” He clenched his jaw as a knot rose in his throat. “You can’t talk me out of it. So don’t try. I’ve made up my mind. And I won’t change it. I love you too much.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Och, Hew. I don’t want to make ye suffer. I could ne’er cause ye distress. And God help me, I love ye more than—” She halted abruptly with a gasp and pressed a hand to her belly.
Hew’s heart plunged. The blood drained from his face.
Dear God, was she…?
This couldn’t be happening. Not here. Not now.
He held his breath and stared at her in horror for several agonizing heartbeats.
Finally, her face relaxed into a smile. “Just a kick.”
The tension shivered loose like chain mail off his back, leaving him suddenly weak and vulnerable. And he knew at that instant he was doing the right thing by taking her home to Dunlop.
Carenza had meant to change Hew’s mind. She’d intended to convince him they’d be fine staying in the byre. After all, this was her clan’s land. She knew it well. The snowhadcome unseasonably early. But it wasn’t the first time it had done so.
His fears weren’t completely unfounded, of course. Births didn’t always go according to plan. But she wasn’t near her time yet, and so far she’d been healthy.
She would have argued that the risk of arrest was no less now than it had been months ago. So it seemed unwise to turn up at Dunlop when they couldn’t be assured of a friendly welcome.
She’d intended to say all that.
But the moment she saw the sheer terror in his eyes and the pale cast to his face, she knew she couldn’t. Putting him through that kind of fear over the next days and weeks would have been cruel.
She had a sense he was right about the blame. If Carenza waddled up to the castle gates with the heir of Dunlop in her belly, no one would put her in shackles. And that gave her a certain leverage.
She rubbed her palm over her belly, calming the bairn.
“He must be eager to go meet his grandfather,” she said.
The relief in Hew’s eyes was instant. And she knew she’d made the right choice.
She grabbed her satchel and tucked their pair of wooden cups into it, along with two wild apples and the verses Merraid had written.
Hew shouldered the large satchel. “She.”
“What?”
“She’seager to meet her grandfather.”
She grinned. “Ye think ’tis a daughter?”
“Ihope’tis a daughter.” His eyes softened like melting silver. “I’d like another just like you.”
She sighed. He always knew just what to say. Secretly, though, she wanted a son just like him.
