Page 35 of The Shipwreck
“Get over it?”she bit out.“You.Bloody.Bastard.”
He clenched his jaw against a surge of guilt.
“She called you Da,” she said.
He closed his eyes against the pain.
“Damn you, Viking,” she muttered.“I would have set you free.”
“I know.”
Behind him, she gasped.“If you knew, then why did you sneak off like a robber?Kimbery trusted you.”Her voice broke.“She…cared for you.”
He furrowed his brow.He cared for Kimbery.She’d brought a welcome light back into his life, a light that had been extinguished when his own children had been taken from him.As for Avril… He was afraid his feelings for Avril went far beyond merely caring for her.
Clenching his fists, he spoke with a flippancy he didn’t feel.“She’s a child.She’ll forget me.”
He heard her sob, but she covered her hurt quickly with a jab of her sword that made him wince.“Why would you do such a hurtful thing?Why would you desert her?”
“It’s for her own good,” he growled.
“You son of a…” She suddenly gave his arse a punishing whack with the flat of her blade.He jerked and raised his hands in surrender.“What the hell isthatsupposed to mean?”she demanded.“You wash up on my beach, sleep under my roof, eat my food, befriend my daughter, and you suddenly decide to walk out of her life…for her own good?”
Brandr decided not to remind her that those were things over which he’d had no choice.After all, she was upset, and she had a sword in her hand.“Itisfor her own good.You said it yourself.I’m a bad man.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”It was best if she went on thinking he was a heartless brute.Leaving her would be twice as hard if she begged him to stay.“I’m a Viking, a marauder, an invader.”
“She liked you.She…she loved you.”
Brandr squeezed his eyes shut.He knew Avril was no longer talking about Kimbery now.
He could hear the hurt in her vexed murmur.“Damn you, did you care nothing for her?Was it all a ruse?How could you make her believe you had feelings for her and then…and then abandon her?”
Brandr didn’t mean to respond.It would be better for everyone if he let it go.But the words spilled forth.“Do you think it was easy?”he choked out over his shoulder.“To walk away like that?To leave her, knowing she trusted me?Do you think it was easy abandoning her, knowing I was breaking her heart?”
“Why then?”she sobbed.“Why did you run away?”
“I had to.”
“You’re a coward,” she said bitterly, “just like all the men I’ve known.”
“Nay!”he insisted, unwilling to let her believe that.“The man who raped you was a coward.The man who killed your father was a coward.The men who stole your land were cowards.”
“And you’re not?”
“Nay!I’m trying to protect you.”
“I can protect myself.”
“Not from me.”
“That makes no—”
“I’m cursed, Avril,” he ground out.“I’m…cursed.Everyone I care about has been taken from me.My wife.My children.My village.My men.”His throat closed, but he forced the words out.“I won’t let that happen to Kimbery.And I won’t let that happen to you.”
For a moment, the only sound was the hushed whisper of the incoming tide and a single gull squawking softly overhead.
