Page 13 of Hearts on the Table
He blinked at me, golden eyelashes brushing slowly across his cheekbones. “Is that why you’ve been staring? You realize you like my shoes?”
The smile slid off my face. It was easier for me to talk about all the noticing I’d been doing today if I projected it onto someone else. It was harder to swallow when I confronted my own feelings head-on. Even more so because I still wasn’t sure exactlywhatI felt. I was confused and intrigued and, dare I say, a little bit interested? That gave me pause.
But he’d been honest with me at a vulnerable moment. I owed him the same.
“Yes. That’s what happened.” My eyes fluttered down, unseeing, to the screensaver bouncing around my laptop. Just because I owed him some honesty didn’t mean I had to stare at him while I talked. “I do like your shoes. And the way you talk to patients. And lead rounds. I like…”You.
But that felt like a bridge too far right at this moment. Right when I was still in the noticing part.
“I liked working out with you.”
When I finally dragged my eyes back to his, I expected to see confusion, maybe exasperation at my obvious cop-out. Instead, I got that steady, straightforward gaze. A slight deepening at the corners of his mouth. “I liked that, too.”
“I know I’m a fellow and you’re an attending so we can’t...But you should know that I don’t like to date guys from work, anyway.” This was important for him to know. And important for me to remind myself. My formerly staid, oatmeal-esque feelings for this man had been diverted, like a train hopping off a track. If I didn’t apply some brakes, I wasn’t sure what wouldhappen. “Entangling my professional life with my personal—it’s too much.”
He nodded, still studying me seriously. “I’ve heard you mention that to Jones.”
“It’s not just lip service to get him off my back. I do really want to keep those aspects of my life separate.” Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and wept a river of tears. I wasn’t interested in a repeat. But…“But maybe we could hit the gym again. Together.”
That was acceptable for two colleagues who attended the same gym, right? It just made sense that we’d chat if we happened to see each other there. Surely that was safe? It felt like a good step, at least, when I felt like I needed to know him much better than I currently did.
“I’d like that.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled up like he found this whole conversation amusing, and I was telling myself again and again not to blush. It was only a loose commitment to work out. Not a date.
“I work out in the mornings, when I can,” I offered.
That dang corner of his mouth deepened ever so slightly again as he closed his computer and gathered up his things. “Yes.” Another lingering second of eye contact. Another reminder that the man knew my schedule and, somehow, also knew my recreational fitness habits.
“Have a good night, Carmichael.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to respond with something equally bland. A nice “see you around” or “have a good one”, perhaps. But his quiet, unruffled demeanor was throwing me off. Now that he was standing, his presence filled the room, choking out any of the air or logic I had left. I babbled, “This weekend, you said you’d…you said you’d felt this way for a while. How long is a while?”
For the last few days, all I could think about was the fact that he’d been into me and I’d barely noticed his existence. It didn’t seem right. I’d been in this man’s orbit for nearly three years now. That was a long time. Although to some people, six months was a long time. Which was it for him? Surely I’d have picked up on something if he’d flipped head over heels for me the moment we’d met. Right?
He paused, fingers on the door handle, seconds from slipping down the hall. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to hack his brain and watch all his thoughts circling in real-time. I wanted to understand how he listened and watched and cared so much and then how he distilled that all into…
“Night, Lainey,” he tossed over his shoulder, avoiding the question—and looking at me—altogether.
Chapter 6
Lainey
I knew the second Reese entered the gym, even though the room was packed with legging-clad bodies. It was mystifying, really, to think that I’d never been aware of him like this before. He was huge; towering as he waded across the sea of women. Something warmed in my chest when I realized he was making a beeline for me.
I’d spent the entire night reliving my conference room confessional and calling myself all sorts of idiot for being so weird with him. Hours ago, as I glared up at the dark ceiling, cringing at my parting question, it had been easy to convince myself that I was going to stop staring at him whenever he was in the room. And that I’d stop asking weird and inappropriate questions.
Now that he was in front of me, though, I had a feeling sticking to those commitments was going to be harder than I’d thought. I already had to remind myself to look somewhere else as he crossed the crowded floor.
“I thought you were scheduled today?” He was. At least he had been when I’d left the hospital last night. Not that I’d been looking at the board or anything.
His only response was a shrug. I pursed my lips, watching him watch me. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed before what the weight of his gaze did to my body. I felt all buzzy—light and heavy at the same time.
I was about to ask whether he’d switched his schedule this morning just so he could take a workout class with me when Will trotted over. Thank God. I was pretty sure that would have fallen under the “asking inappropriate questions” category.
“Shit, it’s packed. We’ve had fifty people register for this session, alone. The rest of the week is getting wrecked.” He ran his hands through his hair and looked warily around the milling crowd. It was mostly women with a few hardcore looking gym bros sprinkled in. “I had to put limits on class sizes for the rest of the month.”
“You’re telling me I should register now before everything fills up?”
