Page 32 of Hearts on the Table
His laugh barked. “Uh, yeah. But you have reasons for that line, Lainey. I understand it today better than ever. You have to be sure, if that’s what you want.”
Oh, I was sure. I was practically salivating, I was so sure. Still, a little voice in the back of my head piped up, reminding me that Katie and Nate were potentially about to become permanent fixtures in my life, so now maybe wasn’t the best time to go throwing my long-held rules out the window.
But, geez, he smelled good. And he’d gotten a bunch of cardiac residents all fired up this afternoon. And this white knight stuff suited him. I remembered the gentle press of his fingertips to my ribs and I wanted more. All of it.
Stupid personal rules. Even if I made an exception (which that little voice was sternly warning me against), the stupid hospital rules would get in the way. What kind of organization had policies against two people dating, anyway? How would they even know in the first place?
I stilled, staring at the buttonholes and the dip of skin at the bottom of his throat.How would they know?
“What if…” The idea formed all at once in my head. The little voice started yelling, threatening. I talked over it. “What if we didn’t date?”
“I…of course. That’s your call. We can be friends.” He shuffled backwards, as much as the counter would allow. I didn’t remember him moving toward me while we talked. I lunged to bring him back.
“No! You don’t understand.” My fingers twisted in his shirt, pinky ending up between the buttons. His skin practically burned. “What if we just prepared to date? Like a trial period? But not the real thing.”
When I said it out loud, it sounded crazy, but it didn’tfeelcrazy. Not to me. Not right now when his skin was so close and I was getting high off his scent of laundry detergent and coffee.
“A trial?”
“Like Netflix!” I blurted the first subscription service that came to mind. “You know, you get thirty days free, no strings or whatever, to try it out.” My eyes bored holes into his, clutching his shirt and willing him to come even closer, to huff whatever fumes I was on. “I’m only a few weeks away from finishing my fellowship. Whether or not I get the job at Cedar, we’ll still be in the clear from a hospital standpoint.”
“Lainey, you’ll get the job.”
“And in the meantime, it’ll give me some time to adjust, too. We can ease into it, right? Just try it out. No strings. We can see how that feels. All the boundaries and policies will remain intact.”
His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. I got the impression that he wanted to put them on me, somewhere (Yes, God, please anywhere!), but wasn’t sure he should. “So, we try a relationship before we commit to…a relationship.”
“Yes.” He was getting it. “Exactly!”
“Hmm.” He scratched at his beard. The sound made me wonder what the hairs would feel like under my hands, too. “What does that look like? I mean, would we go on dates?”
“Yes.”
“Mmm.” He liked that answer. His hand ghosted along the side of my body, resting on my hip. “And kissing. Do people who are only trial-dating kiss?”
“Oh, well, of course. I think they’d have to, don’t you?” My throat was dry or clogged or something, and my heart had migrated to the base of my larynx. I felt all fluttery, and it was challenging to breathe correctly.
“Absolutely. To ensure they’re physically compatible.” He put zero emphasis on the last two words, but my brain emphasized them anyway, leaping straight to the conclusion I hoped he was aiming for. Yes! Compatibility! Take your clothes off, Sam. We can get compatible right here on the counter.
I swallowed, attempting to move my heart down to its normal position in my chest. “That seems wise.”
“It kind of feels like we get all the perks of dating without actually dating.” He slid a hand down my back, making me shiver.
“Genius.”
“Truly,” he murmured, pulling me in closer. “You’re sure? You want this?” He growled my name when I nodded. He felt hot; palms searing through the thin fabric of my dress. I felt that heat spread right between my legs. By the time his lips brushed against mine, I was a goner.
Some awful, pained whimper fluttered out of my throat, but I didn’t care because it matched what I was thinking.Not enough.I pulled him closer at the same moment he rocked me forward, plastering our bodies together. When I gasped, his tongue darted in, teasing. His beard whispered across my skin, rough where his lips were so smooth and warm.
He groaned my name again, backing me against the counter, hands threading through my hair to tip my head exactly how he wanted me. I moaned when he kissed me deeper, invading now, taking everything he wanted.
Zzzz. Zzzz. Zzzz.
We froze, gasping the same air. My phone vibrated on the counter. I took a breath, blinking down at it. It was hard to concentrate with his lips still a whisper away from mine, blowing warm, panting breaths across my skin.
Another look and my brain reengaged. “It’s my Uber.”
I reached up, feeling his beard again and lifting my head for another kiss. Two. Three.
